Smitten Kitten Online – Your Dating & Relationship Headquarters

Dating can be complicated enough on it’s own but when there are children involved things can get even trickier. Many people shy away from starting a relationship with a partner who already has children and many singles with children are also apprehensive about starting a relationship. While dating a person with children can lead to a wonderful relationship it is important to exercise caution to ensure that the children are not hurt by the relationship. While the existence of children in a dating situation does complicate things, it does not have to destine the relationship to failure. Deciding when to meet the children of the person you are dating is a crucial element of the equation. It is not necessary to meet the children on the first date. Doing so can be confusing to the children if the relationship does not progress and you are soon out of the picture. While it is important that the person you are dating disclose that they have children, meeting them is not a necessary first step. It’s important that the relationship has a chance to grow before bringing the children into the equation. After all, while the children may be an important part of your partner’s life, you have to have some time to decide if you think this is a worthwhile relationship before deciding if you want to become a parental figure in the children’s lives. If you have been dating for awhile and things are starting to become more serious, now would be a good time to meet your partner’s children and get to know them as well. You don’t want to rush into meeting the children too early in your relationship but you also don’t want to wait too long either. Waiting until marriage plans are already under way will leave the children feeling helpless and powerless about the situation. Meeting the children of the person you are dating is an important step in your relationship and the timing of this step is also very important. Once you have met the children involved it is important to be cognizant of their feelings. While you are in the relationship with their parent it is also crucial to build a relationship with the children as well if you plan to continue your dating relationship. This may be difficult if the children are resentful. If the biological parent is out of the picture due to death or divorce, the children may see you as trying to replace their parent and they may act angry or hurtful towards you. It is important to bond with the children while assuring them that you are not trying to replace their parent in any way. Sitting down with your partner and his or her children to discuss what type of role you will play in the lives of the children is a good idea. This gives everyone the opportunity to express their feelings and it is also an opportunity to establish boundaries regarding discipline and decision making. Children like to feel as though they have some control in the situation so allowing them to express their feelings will help your relationship with the children to grow. After you have begun to bond with the children it is time to once again focus your attention on the dating relationship. Meeting your partner’s children is important as is establishing and maintaining functioning relationships with them but it’s critical that you not lose sight of your relationship with your partner after the children have been introduced into the relationship. At this juncture of the relationship it is crucial to balance time with your partner and the children. It’s fine to continue activities with the entire family but it’s also important to have time alone with your partner as you did earlier in the relationship. Setting aside time just for you and your partner will ensure that the relationship continues to grow and flourish. Dating someone with children can be complicated but following the tips provided above will help to ease the situation. Be sure to wait until the relationship has become serious before involving the children so that they do not have unrealistic expectations. Once you decide to meet the children, take things slowly and be aware of their feelings. Following their lead will ensure that you are not moving too quickly. After the children are involved, remember to put aside time for just you and your partner to continue your own relationship. These tips will help to create a loving relationship with both your partner and his or her children. Money, Sex & Children: How To Avoid Life’s Greatest Battles Some of life’s greatest battles are over issues such as money, sex and children. While these are issues that elicit passionate responses and feelings, it is possible to deal with these issues without arguing. In fact not only can you avoid battles over these issues, but these issues can also enhance your relationship. Having realistic expectations about these issues can help you to avoid or resolve any conflicts over these issues. Money, sex and children are the source of many problems in a relationship so it’s advisable that you proceed with caution when these subjects arise. Money can be a tremendous source of tension and disagreements in a relationship. Many couples struggle with financial matters and this perpetual struggle leads to tension in their relationship. One way to alleviate the tensions associated with financial concerns is to make sure both partners are involved in financial matters. If both partners are away of the amount of resources available to them and their monthly expenditures, they will both have a better understanding of where they stand financially. This way if problems arise, neither partner is caught off guard in this situation. It is also important that couples share the financial decision making process especially in regards to large purchases. Sharing in making these decisions will ensure that each partner has the opportunity to voice their opinions or concerns and feels as though they are working as a team with their partner. Conversely, if one partner makes a large purchase without consulting their partner, the relationship may suffer because the partner who was not involved in the decision begins to feel left out and hurt. When a couple shares the financial responsibilities there is less likely to be problems that arise as a result of finances then there are when one of the partners takes sole responsibility for the finances. Sex can also be a source of trouble in a relationship. Too much sex, not enough sex and sex that is too routine are common complaints in a relationship. Some of these battles may be avoided by scheduling sexual encounters on a regular basis. While it may sound unromantic to do this, the truth is that with work, children and other responsibilities sometimes there just isn’t time for sex unless it is scheduled ahead of time. Scheduling will ensure that the couple engages in physical contact every so often instead of letting this aspect of their relationship take a back seat to other obligations. Boring or routine sex is another common complaint in a relationship. You can keep things interesting by varying your routine every once in awhile and trying new things. You can also avoid problems related to sex in your relationship by discussing your likes and dislikes with your partner and encouraging your partner to be open with you about their likes and dislikes as well. Sex is a healthy and necessary part of a relationship but it can also be a source of conflict in the relationship. Children are a blessing in a relationship but they can also be a source of many battles in the relationship. The most important issue with children is whether or not a couple is both interested in having children. If only one of the partners desires to have children then introducing children into the relationship can be a recipe for disaster. If you are not both committed to having and raising children then it is best to put off having children until you are both ready to be parents. If children are already a part of the relationship, they can still cause problems. Arguments over disciplinary tactics are very common. The couple may not agree on how to discipline their child and this disagreement can not only be detrimental to the relationship but can also be confusing for the child. To avoid battles over children make sure you and your partner are committed to having children before attempting to conceive and discuss disciplinary tactics and come to an agreement that you will both abide by in dealing with the children. Money, sex and children are the subjects that couples argue about most often. These volatile subjects can also be a source of great joy when managed correctly but until the couple learns how to do this, they will continue to be explosive issues. The keys to dealing with these issues without starting battles is to tread lightly and not force your opinions, discuss the issues before they arrive and try to make the best of the existing situations without constant complaints. Managing The Relationship Matrix In general a matrix is a table of data containing information in both rows and columns. Specifically a relationship matrix could be one that is used to determine your genealogical relationship to another. However in terms of relationships, the relationship matrix often refers to how compatible you and your partner are in respect to certain issues such as communication, interests, and financial and career. While the partners do not have to agree completely in all or any of these areas, finding a balance is critical to a healthy relationship. Communication is one of the factors in the relationship matrix. Style of communication can vary from speaking based on emotion and without much thought to your words to speaking based on logic and putting much thought into what you plan to say before you begin speaking. On one hand the speaker who relies on emotion, often speaks from their heart and their words usually reflect their feelings at the moment they are speaking. On the other hand there is a speaker who relies on logic and often spends much time calculating their words before they speak. This speaker rarely reflects their emotions in their words and instead relies on facts to support their argument. While neither style of speaking is right or wrong, conflict may arise in a relationship if the partners are on opposite ends of the spectrum. These problems may arise if the partner who speaks on emotion is frustrated with the lack of emotion and slow speech of the logical speaker and the logical speaker is in turn frustrated by the lack of restraint shown by their partner. The partners can help to manage this part of the relationship matrix by trying to meet somewhere in the middle of the two extremes. The emotional speaker may agree to take some time to step away from their emotions for a few minutes before speaking and the logical speaker may agree to try to speak more freely and without so much restraint in the future. Interests and hobbies is another aspect of the relationship matrix that can either doom or enhance a relationship. Sharing common interests can be beneficial to a relationship because it fosters closeness and a bond between the partners. They are able to enjoy a common interest or hobby and doing so brings them closer together. If a couple has no common hobbies, this can be detrimental to the relationship because the members of the couple may feel as though their partner is not taking an interest in their activities. While this may sound simple enough, it is important to realize that balancing out this aspect of the relationship matrix is very important. Having too many interests in common can result in one or both of the partners feeling as if they are being smothered while showing no interest in your partner’s activities indicates a lack of caring. Financial and career aspirations are a tricky part of the relationship matrix that can be a source of much strife in a relationship. There are two extremes for approaching finances and career. On one extreme there is the logical and conservative partner while on the other extreme is the emotional and liberal partner. These two extremes can be a recipe for disaster so it is necessary for this couple to find a sense of balance. While one partner may be a risk taker in terms of their finances and career the other prefers a more conservative route. Such extremes often result in the partners becoming frustrated with each other. This frustration stems from the partners both being uncomfortable with the other’s approach. For example the more liberal partner may be upset that the more conservative partner sticks with an unfulfilling job just because the pay is good while the conservative partner may be frustrated that the liberal partner works at a low pay job just because it is enjoyable. In order to resolve any issues and avoid future conflict, it helps if the partners can come to an agreement that is more to in the middle of the road. Reaching a compromise that is moderate instead of conservative or liberal will ensure that the financial aspect of the relationship matrix is balanced. The key to managing the relationship matrix is balance. Finding a compromise in regards to crucial issues of the matrix such as communication, interests and finances will result in a much happier and healthier relationship. While complete agreement is not critical to the survival of the relationship, a willingness to make compromises and understand your partner’s positions on the matrix is critical. How To Choose The Best Dating Site For You Not all dating sites are created equal and as a result it may take some careful research to find the site that is right for you. Dating sites may vary in a variety of ways including the demographic they cater to, the ways that they allow contact between members, the methods, if any, of matchmaking that are available and the cost of a membership to the site. Considering all of these factors will help you to choose the best dating site for you. If you are interested in meeting potential partners of a particular race, creed, age or sexual orientation, you may wish to choose a dating site that caters to the demographic that is of particular interest to you. There are dating sites that are specific to many different races, religions and also sites that cater to a particular sexual orientation or age group. While most sites include a wide variety of members and you can probably find a suitable match on just about any site, if you want to increase your chances you will want to choose a site where the majority of members meet your demographic requirements. Most dating sites allow you to search by certain keywords or phrases to find a match but you may be limiting yourself by joining a dating site that does not have a wide selection that interests you. Also, while many dating sites may not explicitly state that they cater to a certain demographic you may find that this exclusivity is occurring naturally on the site. If you have demographic requirements in your potential match, it is best to do plenty of research in order to choose a dating site that has a high percentage of potential mates who meet your demographic preferences. Another area to investigate before choosing the best dating site for you is the ways in which the site allows contact between members. Sites vary in the way that they allow contact and you have to decide what you are comfortable with before choosing a dating site. You may find sites that will release contact information such as email address and telephone numbers on your approval or other sites that won’t divulge contact information in any situations but allows members to exchange information through private chat rooms at their own discretion. On some dating sites, member email addresses are readily displayed and on others, even this piece of information is not allowed. It is wise to safeguard your contact information by choosing a dating site that has firm restrictions on releasing contact information. It’s important to keep in mind thought that this strictness can work for you and against you. It can prevent you from receiving contact from many members that you don’t necessarily want to receive contact from but it also prohibits you from having easy access to a member that you find appealing. It is important to consider your feelings on the availability of contact information on a dating site and carefully research the regulations before choosing a dating site. Evaluating a dating site’s matchmaking methods is another way to choose the best dating site for you. If you prefer to peruse member profiles at your own leisure and not be contacted by site administrations regarding potential matches, the best dating site for you may be one that does not have match making features. If you don’t have the time to comb through member profiles in search of a match or simply don’t want to do this, you may want to choose a dating site that does provide you with information regarding potential matches. If you decide to go with a site that provides a matchmaking feature, you will need to further investigate the methods of matchmaking in choosing the dating site that is right for you. Matchmaking methods utilized by some dating sites include matching up members based on the percentage of matching keywords or phrases or using a trial and error method by sending you a few initial matches and then tailoring future matches based on your responses to the initial matches. Whether or not you choose a dating site that provides matchmaking services is up to you but if you do choose one that does provide matchmaking services you need to also investigate the matchmaking methods employed by the site. A final consideration in choosing the best dating site for you is the fees involved with the site. There are dating sites that are free of charge and there are some sites charge a flat monthly rate while others charge based on the number of profiles you view and still others that charge based on the number of messages you send to members. A free site may not necessarily be the best bargain when it comes to dating sites. If you are really serious about finding a match a free site may not be for you. Since there is nothing to lose in joining a free site, these sites are often filled with members who aren’t really serious about finding matches. On the other hand sites that charge a fee, involve making an investment so you are more likely to find members on this site that are really committed to meeting matches. Sites that charge a flat monthly fee for membership are likely your best bargain. These types of dating sites give you the opportunity to view as many profiles as you like and send as many messages as you like to members. While it’s true that you are also free to do this with dating sites that charge per profile viewed or message sent, you are probably more likely to exercise caution in the number of profiles you view or members you contact. There are many factors involving fees to consider in choosing a dating site. Choosing the right dating site for you may take a great deal of initial research but in the end your research efforts may result in you having a better chance of meeting a potential match. Considering the demographic that the site caters to, the contact methods the site allows, the matchmaking methods employed and the applicable fees are all crucial to choosing the right dating site for you. Safe Sex Tips Practicing safe sex greatly reduces the risk of sexually transmitted diseases and unwanted pregnancies. While no methods of safe sex, with the exception of abstinence, are 100% effective if you do engage it sexual activity, it is better to use protection because doing so is definitely much safer than not using any form of protection. While various forms of protection are not foolproof, using them will greatly reduce your risk of contracting a sexually transmitted disease or an unwanted pregnancy. While there are a multitude of safe sex methods available this article will outline only a fraction of these methods including, abstinence and monogamy, both male and female condoms, and oral contraception. The only truly safe method of preventing both pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases is abstinence. This is the only safe sex method that is 100% effective against both pregnancy and sexually transmitted disease. While abstinence may be a completely foolproof safe sex method, it is also not the chosen safe sex method for very many people. If you are unwilling to engage in abstinence as a safe sex method, it is highly recommended that you at least only engage in sexual activities with a monogamous partner. Monogamy means that neither you nor your partner are engaging in sexual activity with anyone else besides each other. Monogamy is not an effective method of birth control but it is effective at preventing sexually transmitted diseases. As long as you and your partner are free of diseases, you will remain that way for at least as long as you remain monogamous. Abstinence and monogamy are both highly effective safe sex methods. Abstinence is effective at preventing both pregnancy and diseases while monogamy helps to prevent diseases only. In terms of avoiding sexually transmitted diseases, the condom is one the only truly effective methods available. If used properly condoms can be very effective in preventing not only sexually transmitted diseases but also unwanted pregnancies. Male condoms are relatively inexpensive and are readily available in drug stores, grocery stores and even vending machines. Condoms are also available in both male and female versions. The male condom is the one most often used. The male condom is a thin sheath, usually made of latex that fits over the penis and acts as a barrier to the exchange of bodily fluids during intercourse. If used correctly every time the male condom is 97%-98% effective against preventing pregnancy and is also highly effective in terms of preventing sexually transmitted diseases. Even if they are not used correctly condemns are still 88%-90% effective in terms of preventing pregnancy. While condoms, if used correctly, are highly effective birth control methods as well as sexually transmitted disease deterrents, they are still not 100% reliable and you should understand that you still run the risk of pregnancy or disease even if you are using a condom. The female condom is a polyurethane sheath that lines the entire vagina. The closed end is inserted into the vagina and the open end remains outside the body. The female condom has only been available since the 1990s and its high cost and scarce availability contribute to it not being used widely as a safe sex method. Both male and female condoms are effective methods for both avoiding pregnancy and preventing sexually transmitted diseases. Use of oral contraception such as birth control pills is highly effective for preventing pregnancy but is not useful in preventing sexually transmitted diseases. Oral contraception is a pill that is taken daily and utilizes hormonal supplements to prevent pregnancy by creating an environment that is not conducive to fertilization. When used correctly the pill is 97%-99 effective in preventing pregnancy but does absolutely nothing to prevent sexually transmitted diseases. There are many side effects to using the pill but most of these side effects are relatively mild. Some side effects include weight changes, nausea, irritability and breast tenderness. Although none of these side effects are severe, fortunately, many of them can also be avoided all together. There are a variety of pills available on the market today and these pills vary in the amount of hormones that they contain. If you are experiencing unwanted side effects with one version of the pill, speak to your doctor about your discomfort and they will probably be able to recommend another brand that will eliminate or diminish these side effects. While oral contraception is easy to use, free of severe side effects and highly effective against preventing pregnancy, it is not at all effective against preventing sexually transmitted diseases and if you are not positive that your partner is free of disease, you should always use another safe sex method to prevent these diseases. Practicing safe sex can involve taking measures to avoid pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases or both. While abstinence is the only safe sex method that is 100% effective against pregnancy and sexually transmitted there are other highly effective options for preventing pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases. Monogamy with a disease free partner and condoms can help to prevent sexually transmitted diseases. Condoms along with birth control pills are also effective in terms of preventing pregnancy. Weekend Romantic Adventure Ideas Sometimes a weekend getaway is just what a couple needs to reestablish their relationship and make a new connection. Making this weekend getaway a romantic adventure can further enhance the benefits of the getaway. Engaging in adventurous activity can have the affect of drawing the couple closer together. Try finding an activity that is new to both of you and you will be able to bond while tackling new challenges and adventures. A romantic adventure may include exploring a new location, enjoying the outdoors or taking flight in a hot air balloon or glider. Whatever option you choose, a romantic adventure is sure to rejuvenate your relationship. Travel can be a romantic and adventurous way for a couple to get away for the weekend and put some spark back into their relationship. Exploring new locations whether they are exotic or domestic allows a couple an opportunity to learn and discover together. If you live relatively close to another country you may have the chance to visit another country for the weekend and learn about different cultures, foods and people. If exploring a new country is not possible, do not be deterred. Exploring a new city can be just as fun. There may be many cities close by that you and your partner have either never visited or visited only briefly. Even spending a day or two in a new city can be an enlightening adventure. If you truly immerse yourself in a nearby city and take the opportunity to visit local restaurants and shops you are bound to notice that although the city may be very near in proximity to your own city, it has its own vibe about it. The culture of a city is driven by its residents so visiting a new area is often a chance for you and your partner to enjoy a new adventure together. Travel, whether it is domestic or international is a wonderful opportunity for a couple to enjoy a romantic weekend adventure. Enjoying the outdoors is another way for a couple to share a weekend romantic adventure. Taking a backpacking trip is an excellent way for a couple to reconnect. While spending a few nights in isolation in the wilderness without distractions such as televisions and restaurants a couple really has an opportunity to talk and catch up on their relationship. All too often a couple falls into a rut of eating out and then returning home to watch television and go to bed but a backpacking trip may be just what a couple needs to put the spark back in their relationship. Backpacking allows a couple the opportunity to work together to prepare their meals using simplistic equipment and to have only each other to occupy their time is an excellent weekend romantic adventure idea. While backpacking may be a simple activity, the adventuresome and romantic aspects exist making this activity and excellent weekend getaway activity for a couple. Doing something completely new to both of you such as a hot air balloon or glider ride can also be an excellent weekend romantic adventure idea for a couple. These activities can often be done right in your own city and give you the opportunity to view your city from a completely different perspective. From a high elevation, you have the opportunity to look down on your city and realize how truly small it is. While you may spend your days running errands and scurrying from place to place, viewing your hometown from such a high elevation gives you a new perspective on things. Additionally, these activities can induce a sense of fear which may bring you and your partner together. While the activity may be completely safe, the fear of the unknown can have the affect of drawing you and your partner closer together. A hot air balloon or glider ride is one way for a couple to enjoy a weekend romantic adventure that doesn’t have to take up their entire weekend but will draw them closer together and will give them a new perspective on their approach to life. There are many weekend romantic adventure ideas that can draw a couple closer together. The idea of this type of adventure is to find a new activity that both of you will enjoy. The excitement of engaging in a new activity coupled with the closeness that you gain from spending time together is the recipe for a successful weekend romantic adventure idea.

Recent Posts