Health Benefits of Masturbating
Masturbation has long been seen as a sexual practice indulged in only by degenerates or people who are too weak morally to find a partner. Some people are even proud of their decision not to resort to masturbation even though they haven’t had sex in a long while. But most people have no idea that this solitary sexual practice is surprisingly beneficial for men and women alike. There is no question that people denied other types of sexual relief are perfectly willing to engage in masturbation just to get rid of the tension. But there are more benefits to be had from masturbation.
It sometimes happens that two persons who may be otherwise perfectly matched in interests and lifestyle preferences may prove to have very different views on sex. Such is life. One of the partners may want and expect a lot of sex, while the other likes sex, but is not overly concerned with this activity. I such cases, masturbation may be used to satisfy the bigger need without making the less eager partner uncomfortable. This helps to maintain balance within the relationship and unite couples who are open-minded enough to acknowledge and respect their differences.
A lot of experts on psychological issues agree that masturbation is a good way of relieving depression by allowing the individual to reach a higher sense of self-worth through successful masturbation. A good orgasm is one of the best ways to lift somebody’s spirits and make that person feel once more the zest for life that lies in all of us. Sex also tends to drive out negative thoughts, if only for a while. In the end, whatever arguments some people can raise have against masturbation, it far is better to engage in this practice than to allow depression to set in.
Moreover, it is quite clear that frequent masturbation teaches a person to understand his or her own sexual responses and is a very good way of exploring one’s sexuality. Every bit of experience helps later on and masturbation can be a very good teacher to the young and shy people who are nervous about sex, which is one of the most intimate acts two people can perform together. Masturbation is perfectly safe at all ages and, unlike sex, it does not carry the risk of unwanted pregnancies or sexually transmitted infections.
A recent study you may have heard about has also suggested that frequent masturbation in men may help decrease the risk of developing prostate cancer. While this is not 100 percent certain, there’s a good chance it may prove to be true. Of course, nobody recommends masturbating in order to prevent cancer, but men who engage in this practice frequently should not feel as if they’re doing something wrong because, it turns out, this activity may even help them in their old age. So, as you can see, there are good things to say about masturbation and even some benefits to be had.
Common Myths About Masturbating
Since the earliest days of mankind on this plant, every little thing that people failed to understand or whose origins they could not comprehend was surrounded by a mass of myths and rumors. It’s pretty clear that people who don’t understand something won’t stop talking about it and speculating on its purpose. The more mysterious something is, the more people like to state their opinions, which take the form of myths. Naturally, sex has not been spared the overwhelming curiosity of uninformed people. The layer of myths, rumors and jokes surrounding sex is absolutely huge.
Just like any other sexual practice, masturbation has been the choice target of many myths which have survived even in an age when people should know better. It’s surprising to see that even some people who acknowledge masturbation and accept it as an inevitable part of the development of any human being claim that this practice is only for kids. This is plain wrong. Masturbation is performed by many people of all ages and for various reasons. Men and women who have been married for years still masturbate when they feel like it.
Another widespread myth is the idea that masturbation is something performed only by lonely, desperate people who can’t find a partner or by perverted individuals. Not true! More than 90 percent of all males and at least half of all women masturbate. About 98 percent of all people polled by studies admitted to having masturbated at least once in their lives. Masturbation is a perfectly natural thing and people should not be ashamed to admit to it. Reality disproves the idea that masturbation is a practice suited only for the losers of the big “Find a Partner” contest.
Other people think that only men masturbate. Once again, we’re dealing with a myth! Women like sex just as much as men and have no moral or physical reasons to refrain from masturbation. While it’s true that women who are engaged in long term relations tend to masturbate less frequent, most of them still do that on occasion.
The myth that women don’t do it is right next door to “only homosexuals masturbate”. This is absolutely ridiculous. Since almost every boy and most girls discover sex through masturbation between the ages of 10 and 13, this would mean that nearly everyone is a homosexual.
Another silly idea designed to frighten young people is the myth that masturbating causes the penis to stop growing. There’s absolutely no relation between penis size and masturbation and millions of men can testify to this. And, no, masturbation does not shrink the testicles either. This is yet another “bright” idea some people spread around. Who comes up with these things anyway?
Then we have the strange variety of myths according to which masturbation can bring about physical changes to the body. We all know that these myths are mostly used to scare teen-agers, but people have believed in them and some might still do. For instance, some people believe that masturbation can cause hair to grow on a person’s hands. No doubt, this is a story designed to scare people and enforce abstinence.
It’s pretty useless to point out that there hasn’t been a single case of abnormal hair growth caused by masturbation. And there are more such fantastic claims. Masturbation is said to cause bad eyesight, hair loss, fatigue and nervous illnesses. Who would have thought?
Or and even brighter idea: frequent masturbation makes men run out of semen. There’s no such thing as running out of semen. Even at the age of 90 a man’s testicles are still producing semen and viable spermatozoids. It’s true that at such an age man are no longer able to use that semen, but the point is that it’s still being produced despite a lifetime of intercourse and masturbation. And have you ever heard some people claiming that masturbation causes sexually transmitted diseases. This one is really strange. How can you give yourself a disease?
More Masturbation Techniques – Part I
Pleasure is only limited by your imagination and by the body’s physical limitations. Sex is one of the key areas of life where humans must keep improvising and coming up with new things in order to avoid trading pleasure for a routine that does no good to anybody. Therefore, men and women have to turn to their imagination in order to find new ways of making sex feel good. It might be a new position, acting out a fantasy or even closing your eyes and thinking about somebody else. Whatever it is, people have to let their minds and instincts take over if they want to feel that precious rush.
This is why I have compiled a list of masturbation positions and techniques that you can try at home whenever you feel like it.
The first one on the list aims to simulate the feeling of a tight vagina closing in around the penis. This technique requires you to lie on your side and grasp the penis with the right hand. Go with a full fisted grip, but make sure you grab your penis from the left and not from the right, as per the usual grip or a right-handed man. Then you twist your wrist in such a way that the thumb is pointing down instead of up. You might have to pull the penis to the side in order to achieve the correct grip, but don’t worry about it because the position is perfectly natural. Now complete the movement and lay face-down on the bed with the penis in your hand. Start thrusting using your pelvis and hips, while keeping your hand very still.
A very different technique, suited mostly for those who are eager to play with themselves for a good long time in order to achieve a strong orgasm the slow way is to stimulate only the tip of the penis. Spread lubricant on one of your palms and start rubbing the tip of the penis against it. You should try to change the speed of rubbing every now and then in order to experience the all the sensations this technique has to offer.
Those who like do the whole thrusting thing should also try a nice technique whose purpose is to create the unique feeling of sliding into a vagina that does not end. It may sound strange, but this is one very good position. So grab your penis in a full-fisted grip and push the tip upward through the fingers. When the tip of the penis is about to burst through, place your left hand on top of the right hand in order to form a continuous tunnel. Then repeat the movement by removing your right hand from the base of the penis and placing it on top of the left hand. Keep the penis surrounded by your fingers at all times and you are in the never-ending vagina.
Alternatively, you could try a powerful milking technique to get yourself a true rush. Lubricate your hands and make a ring around the base of the penis using the thumb and middle finger of one hand. Move the ring all the way up to the tip of the penis. Just as you reach the tip, form a similar ring at the base of the penis with the other hand. Milk your penis for all it’s worth. Men who use this technique claims to experience amazing erections and orgasms.
For more solitary thrills you may want to try a really special technique. It goes like this: hold the base of the penis firmly in one hand. Place the other hand on the shaft and move upward in a spiral-like movement. You should give extra attention to the tip of the glands and caress it in order to squeeze as much pleasure as possible from this technique. When you feel you are about to reach climax, move both hands just underneath the tip and use them in powerful circular motions in order to get yourself over the edge.
Add a delicate touch to your self-pleasure session with one of the gentlest techniques around. Gather the loose part of the foreskin located just below the tip of the penis and rub it gently with your fingers. What you want to do is to rub your fingers together through the skin. The sensation is very pleasing and relaxing and the orgasm is a slow, but powerful rush.
More Masturbation Techniques – Part II
Not getting enough of new positions, variations and techniques? Well, you can rest assured because we’ve found another couple of techniques for you to try out. Playful exploration is one of the best parts of sex and we’re doing our best to keep you happy. So, here are the new techniques that you can try when nobody’s around.
Many men enjoy the feeling of something cold placed against the hot skin of the penis. Since sticking the penis in a fridge is impractical, we recommend the use of ice cubes or crushed ice to increase the strength of orgasms.
Here’s how it works. Masturbate the way you usually do using your preferred technique and keep a few ice cubes or a bag of crushed ice handy. When you feel the climax building pick up the ice cubes and place them against your testicles or rub them over your penis, if you can manage that without getting in the way. Trust us, the feeling is quite unique.
The first one is a bit tricky to pull off. Lie on your back with your erect penis straight up in the air. Wrap the fingers of one hand around the base of the penis and start stroking yourself with a quick, circular motion. Make sure the strokes are always short. The stroking speed must vary in order to get the glans to jerk around in a circular motion, the reverse of that of your hand. Be careful: ejaculation can be very messy due to sperm flying all over the place. Or you could try a technique devised by people with lots and lots of time on their hands, the connoisseurs of the masturbation world. The basic idea is to bring yourself to a good, strong orgasm by tapping gently on the glands, through the underwear. The orgasm will be slow coming, but the sensation is bound to be much stronger than usual.
If you enjoy masturbating in the bath and using hot water then you simply have to try the steam bath. Get naked and into the bathroom and turn on the hot water tap. Let the water flow for a couple of minutes in order to turn the room into a regular sauna. When everything in the bathroom is hot and steamy, get into the tub (mind the hot water!) and start masturbating, using the heat and steam as lubricant. The sensation is quite unique and very pleasant.
A good way to heighten orgasm is to put a little pressure on your testicles. During masturbation, reach down and start caressing and squeezing your testicles. Make sure you don’t press too hard on them, even though it may seem to you that you can stand it. During the orgasm, you will feel the semen moving up from the testicles as the scrotum contracts. the experience will certainly, be an intense one.
Sexual Benefits of Masturbating
Exploration of sensual sensations and of the way the body responds to such stimuli starts early on in all human beings. By the time the teen years roll along, most people are familiar with the way their bodies are put together and know that their sex organs are very sensitive to the touch and not in an unpleasant way.
Children also know that playing with them feels good, despite the attempts of adults to discourage these activities. It doesn’t really matter how adults handle this and how many taboos they might invoke, people are naturally curious about everything and this one big mystery is high on the list of priorities. The fact that many adults refuse to discuss the issue about it just makes everything more interesting.
And all exploration starts with touching and continues with masturbation. For most children, this is the gate to sex and the beginning of the path to the huge world of sex and pleasure. And it’s a good thing this is comes early in a person’s life. Although masturbation and lack of knowledge about the physical side of the opposite sex are not the best way to prepare for intercourse, knowing oneself is still better than ignorance.
In the Victorian age, a certain English poet abstained from all manner of sex in order to be a virgin when he finally married at the age of 28. At the end of the wedding night he was extremely disappointed to find what intercourse actually was. He had hoped for something far grander, especially since he wrote love poems. However, his view of passion was completely unrealistic and led to a crushing disappointment.
Masturbation helps people learn what they really like when the clothes fall off and also what they would like other people to do to them. Knowing more about the pleasure they experience makes people more likely to understand the pleasure of others and to want to explore new ways of getting more of it for themselves and for their partners.
Communication of what we want and what we need is one of the most important parts of a successful sex life, since guessing is not a good option. And imagine what an amazing surprise it is to find that your partner is also interested in masturbation and not in the least shy to share this intimate act with you. Mutual masturbation can be a very tender act between two people who really know how to give and take pleasure.
It is worth noting that masturbation is a good option during those times when intercourse is not easy to come by. If you don’t feel bound by moral, religious or other duties, then there’s no reason to avoid getting rid of your sexual tension by masturbating. You’ll certainly feel more relaxed afterwards and the others will profit from your improved mood as well. A satisfied person is a person less likely to quarrel and start conflicts in the office or at home.
Different Types of Kissing
People kiss in many different ways. Passionate kisses, friendly kisses, playful kisses, all these variations depend on the moods and relationships between people. A swift kiss before leaving for work in the morning is very different from the longer kiss that precedes a night of passion. Kissing is fun most of the times and people whom you wouldn’t like to kiss can usually be kept at a distance. This is an act of intimacy that is not easily forced upon somebody.
The best-known type of kiss is the French kiss. You can see it in every movie and is probably used by the largest part of young and adult lovers around the world. French kiss means that the two partners kiss with open lips and their tongues touch. I’m not sure if the French have actually been the first to kiss like that, but let’s say the name is a tribute to the city of lovers, Paris. The two partners can use their tongues to explore each other’s mouths. This is actually up to the imagination of the two people involved, since there are far too many ways in which the play of tongues can underscore tenderness and passion.
A good one is the kiss that is meant to surprise and to convey intensity, rather than tenderness. When your lover is working, sleeping or generally absorbed by something, plant a quick kiss on her lips by surprise. Be careful not to spoil the surprise. Kiss her hard (or light) and fast to show her that you love her and that you are in a playful mood. Afterwards you can choose between retreating and leaving her to her business or going for more kisses. A break from work has never hurt anybody.
Another kind of kiss much favored by passionate lovers focuses on the lips instead of the inside of the mouth. This is very much a kiss designed to convey a strong sense of passion and a lack of inhibitions. The basic idea is to suck gently on one of your partner’s lips. Since she is likely to have her mouth slightly open in expectation of a French kiss, this can be easily accomplished. Just pick one of the lips and suck gently on it for a second or two. Make sure you are very gentle about it because injuries are no fun.
A variation of the kiss described above is meant to add yet another twist to the passion that unfolds between you and her. While sucking on your lover’s lip, use your teeth to bite her lip very gently. Just nip on it, don’t go for a full fledged bite. This type kiss should be used by lovers who have kissed before. It’s not exactly the kind of thing one does on the first date.
The options are endless here. Don’t be afraid to experiment with your lover and to show your passion and tenderness. Sincere and passionate kisses are among the best things in life.
Do’s And Don’ts. What Not To Do When Kissing
When it comes to sex and love, there’s no such thing as too much knowledge. No matter how much experience one has, there are always some things that were missed, some bits of information that did not reach him or her. And since most people have other things to do with their lives than striving to become a sort of walking sex and love encyclopedias, it follows that everybody needs tips now and then.
Among the physical expressions of love, kisses are very versatile tools in the emotional kit of any human being. From the short and tender kiss of a grandmother, to heads of state briefly touching their lips to each other’s cheeks and on to passionate lovers French kissing their way to a hot session of sex, it’s obvious that our lips can express many things.
And since the best kisses are those that come out right, some tips are in order for the use of people who either don’t get much practice or are not catching up fast on what they should do. Don’t laugh! Nobody was born knowing how to do this or that thing. We all have to learn.
While we can all be thankful to the French for opening the door to the intimate play of tongues (although it’s not clear whether the French kiss comes from Paris or not), kissing is actually a universal language that can be learnt by all people. Traditionally, French kissing has been associated with the Western world, from which it’s now spreading around the globe.
When preparing to go for the kiss, take your time for a reality check. Is the girl willing to go along with this or not? If you’re about to make your approach and the girl gets an embarrassed look on her face and starts fidgeting in her chair in what may be seen as an evasive maneuver, then pull back and give her some breathing space. Don’t rush things because you’re going to regret it.
First thing you need to know is that French kisses are not meant for the first date, unless, of course, the girl is quite the party animal and you both know that your date has only one purpose. In that case, anything goes if you can get away with it; even sex in the restaurant’s lavatory. Or if the girl is so clearly willing that there can be no mistake about it. But in all other cases, save French kissing either for the end of the date or for another date.
Two things that girls hate is to have guys shoving their tongues down their throats and to have their oxygen supply cut off during kissing. Therefore, you need to take care that you leave the girl enough room to breathe or to break the kiss every now and then. This will also help you, because you also need the oxygen. Two people kissing are sharing an intimate moment, not engaging in an endurance test or in a race to the death.
When actually going for the kiss, don’t charge with your tongue sticking out or your mouth. This can gross out even the hardcore promiscuous people. Put your lips against hers and only then let your tongue come out to play. And don’t stab her mouth with your tongue. Keep your cool and read her emotions. If she wants more passion or a little rough play, then go ahead and do what you think best. If not, then keep your tongue to yourself.
On the other hand, if both you and your partner find yourselves exhausted by a prolonged session of passionate kissing, then you are on the right path. It means that she enjoys your kisses and that she probably doesn’t mind going even further. Just remember to refrain from rushing things. The slow path is sometimes best.
When Should I Go In For The First Kiss?
Love and sex are among the things that make our lives better and increase our pleasure to live. But every good thing has a less pleasurable side and one must admit that a lot of stress is associated with these delightful activities. The first touch, the first kiss, the first evening out, the first night spent together, all these key moments of the early part of a relationship can be very stressful for both partners. Some people think that these moments can make or break relationships, but the issue is still up for debate.
Not everybody gets it right the first time and many first nights spent together are not that great. It takes time to learn what the other likes, wants and looks for in and out of bed, so there are bound to be a lot of early fumbles and mistakes. On the plus side, these awkward moments may end up as sweet memories two lovers can laugh about years later. Still, a mistake is a mistake and the fewer one does, the better off everybody is.
Since you both are most likely to be nervous the first time, make sure you set the stage for this event. When you feel you are both comfortable with each other and that your relationship has advanced enough to warrant a more intimate approach, make a plan for the setting of the first kiss. Choose a location you are familiar with and whose main feature is intimacy.
There is also an ungodly amount of hype surrounding first kisses. The two partners should, allegedly, hear bells ringing or feel like having a thousand butterflies in their stomachs and other such nonsense. Don’t let such ideas put you off if the first kiss was not followed by a huge display of fireworks. Cherish it as the first step toward what may prove to be a special relationship and move forward. In other words, kiss her because you both feel like it, not because it’s some sort of ritual, and do it at your own pace and in your own style.
If you are not certain of what she wants or likes, then don’t rush into a French kiss. Brush your lips gently against hers, look into her eyes for the confirmation and then come back for a second try with a more resolute approach. If she does not recoil, then you can be a bit firmer. But the gentle brushing is a very good idea for the first kiss. It will net you points for both control and tenderness.
Unless you are the type who jumps head first into anything and just hopes for the best, you may want to actually take a moment and think about this before doing anything. A lonely bench in the park at sunset is a good idea. The doorstep of her parents’ house is not. Don’t make a hasty affair of the first kiss because your girlfriend is very likely to remember this for a long time afterwards. Pick a quiet spot, where nobody is going to bustle in on you just as you’re getting ready to share a pleasant moment. Make sure your hygiene is fit for this occasion: no bad breath, no smelly body.
No fancy stuff on the first kiss. There’ll be time enough for this later on. Don’t spoil the moment by trying something really special and making a mess of it. Stick to a slow and gentle kiss that paves the way for the more advanced stuff to come. Just focus on sliding into each other’s arms, finding a comfortable position and kissing away to heart’s content. If you can pull this off without a hitch, then you can say your first kiss with that partner was a complete success.
How To Find The Hidden Erogenous Zones?
Curiosity, information, learning and experience are the best tools for perfecting your skills as a lover who can drive ladies wild. Still, these tools can only take you so far if you don’t try to acquire more knowledge by exploration and observation. It’s pretty strange to think about it, especially with all the porn floating around the Internet, but a lot of men have never taken a good look at a woman’s vagina. Never! All they’ve ever seen was a flash of pink among the pubic hairs. Small wonder that some men are clueless when it comes to finding a woman’s clitoris and know next to nothing about the erogenous zones.
To be fair, some men are indeed exceedingly shy. They feel lucky enough when they’re able to convince a lady to go to bed with them and are not in the mood for exploration and experimentation. Moreover, others think (and with good reason, too, as far as I know) that women might not share their curiosity, or may even take an attempt to expand one’s experience as proof of weirdness or inexperience (“Haven’t you seen a pussy before?” – can you answer “No” to such a question?). It takes a smooth talker to get out of this kind of situation and shy men are not known for being smooth talkers.
Then there’s the “I’m not going down there! It’s disgusting!” crowd. Guys, if you expect oral sex from your ladies, it’s only fair to bite the bullet and reciprocate. Besides, you shouldn’t judge the experience before you actually try it. Many men thought they were only going to do it out of fairness and were very surprised to find that it wasn’t half as bad as it had seemed. If your lady is careful about her hygiene and if you can keep an open mind about it, close-up exploration of your lady’s private parts may prove to be very good fun indeed.
Still other men are simply not interested in getting a good look. That’s their opinion and we should respect it even if many of us can’t agree with it. Others are really curious, but they think that getting on all fours and doing this is beneath them. It’s amazing that men would rather rely on rumors, hearsay and myths or simply expect information to fall into their laps. The “If I have to do all the work, then it’s not worth it” approach is not exactly the best way for those who want to sharpen their bedroom skills.
Whether lying in bed in order to share an intimate moment of peace or to get ready for a hot session of sex, bring the conversation around to masturbation. If the lady is doing it and not shy to talk about her solitary practices, then ask her to show you what she’s doing. Chances are she’s focusing on the clitoris and so you’ll get a good look not only at the pleasure center itself, but also at the proper stimulation technique. But remember to be gentle about this topic. If the lady is not inclined to share the details with you or is not into masturbation, change the topic.
Your main targets in that area are the clitoris and the perineum. These are the hidden erogenous zones that cannot be easily accessed, but which are very important to a student of the erotic arts. The clitoris is a highly sensitive area, which is responsible for most female orgasms because, unlike the penis, the clitoris has no other function except to give pleasure. Vaginal orgasms are significantly less common than clitoral orgasms and, for many women, not nearly as good. One trick that you may be able to use to your advantage, if you can pull it off, is to have the woman give you a guided tour of her private parts. You’d be amazed at what people are willing to discuss with enough coaxing.
If you have to find your own way around, then here’s the layout. The clitoris is located directly above the junction of the two inner lips (labia minora). If you use your fingers to gently separate the lips (you will want to keep your fingernails cut very short), the little rosebud or its hood should become apparent. The clitoris is either fully or partially covered by a hood; this aspect different from one woman to another. You can use your fingers or lips on the clitoris, but be very gentle. If the woman says the sensation is too intense to bear, pull back and don’t argue about it.
The perineum is an area you are most likely to have to learn about on your own. It is located between the lower junction of the labia minora and the anus. This area is also highly sensitive and, along with the anus, can be stimulated in order to obtain a pleasure response. And the response is not limited to women; men also enjoy a finger pressing on their perineum, especially during ejaculation. It is known to enhance pleasure so feel free to experiment with this part of your body.
Techniques To Stimulate The Erogenous Zones
Now we are at the final part of the guide to female erogenous zones. This is where you are going to learn about the different stimulation techniques that make women moan in ecstasy. Let’s face it: any accomplished lover simply has to learn and master these techniques if he is to earn the admiration and love of women and the envy of less skilled men. The study of erogenous zones teach the good student exactly what works and why and enables him to make up new techniques on the fly, as the situation requires.
The biggest problem with sex is that people, whether men or women, tend to assume that their partners like the same things that they do. Men love to have their penises touched, fondled and sucked any time, provided five seconds notice is given. With women it’s different. They don’t like to have their genitals touched just like that. Women are not ready for action at the drop of a hat and do not like it when men move right to the main course without bothering to get the lady properly aroused.
So, the basic idea is to get the woman into the right mood by playing on all the sensitive spots that we have discussed before. After the usual wining and dining, or whatever your approach is, check to see if the lady is willing and go into the foreplay mode. I know that some men find foreplay boring and useless and like to think that driving her home should be considered part of it. But they are missing all the fun that ladies love the most. Foreplay is all about exploration, pleasure and building up the passion. It’s a primer for sex. Lying on the couch in the same position for 10 minutes and kissing is bad foreplay.
Asking the lady if she would teach you how to please her by masturbating in front of you is hot foreplay.
The only thing that you cannot learn from articles and books is how to judge the individual situations. This you will have to learn yourself. For instance, many women like to be kissed all over, but if you make it look like something you do only out of obligation, then you’re spoiling everything. Some women like to see that they can drive men crazy with their bodies, but don’t be focus solely on her body. It will insult her intelligence. If something you do is not working, change it as soon as possible. Don’t spend a minute kissing a spot that the woman doesn’t care about. And if she tells you to stop in a serious manner, don’t assume that she’s joking. Stop whatever it is you’re doing and talk to her.
Always read the body signs. The three things you can do to any erogenous zone are to kiss it, lick it or caress it. Her body will tell you if she likes what you’re doing and how you’re doing it. She’ll try to guide you toward getting the best stimulation possible, but she won’t use words every time. Go with her hands when she’s pushing you toward a certain spot. Maybe that squirming is not pleasure but an attempt to get a better position or to change your angle of approach so try to guess what she’s trying to do and move accordingly.
Learn all you can from these articles and then go and experiment everything. Be firm, but not pushy, be in control, but not domineering, be attentive, but not bookish and be gentle, but not a pushover. And don’t forget to enjoy yourself while giving her a lot of pleasure. Otherwise it has no use, has it?
Where Are They?
With the basic questions regarding what erogenous zones are out of the way, we can move on to a detailed discussion about the exact location of these zones. From the most obvious and down to the really mysterious ones, we are going to identify all erogenous zones and provide some tips on how to use them. The female body is a precious work of biological engineering and the curiosity of men is never satisfied as to what drives women crazy with desire.
The male body is much simpler in this regard, although it does have its hidden pleasure spots. Pretty much anybody knows how to turn a man on and which are the exact places where men like to be touched, caressed or stroked. Women, however, are different in this aspect. Their bodies feature a bigger number of erogenous zones which the skilled lover can use to make them touch the sky and beg for more.
Finding and stimulating these zones can prove to be simple and complicated at the same time. It’s really simple because anyone can read an article such as this one and learn all there is to learn from a text before moving on to hands-on experience. But it’s also complicated because it takes practice to understand how to use them. Not all women respond to stimulation in the same way and a man must think on his feet to spot which zones work for the woman in question and to change the plan of attack on the fly.
Before we start discussing the zones themselves there’s one thing we should clear up. Contrary to the ideas cherished by some men, erogenous zones are just one of the tools that accomplished or simply adventurous lovers use to increase the passion and pleasure of their ladies. They are not some sort of magic buttons that, once touched, can turn a woman into a sex-crazed creature, eyes shining with lust. They cannot be used to avoid the approach and courtship stages of any relation (one-night stands included). So, guys, you’re not off the hook. You must still summon the courage to make the approach and prove your worth at the courtship game.
Much to everybody’s surprise, the biggest concentration of female erogenous zones are not found on the upper body, but, of all places, the feet. Starting with the soles and toes, which can be gently massaged or licked, and moving up to the delightfully sensitive skin of the ankles and the thighs, the feet are one of the sensual hot spots for the knowledgeable lover. Assuming that the lady in question has perfect hygiene, you can caress, lick and kiss as much as you please and if you’re really good, she will love you for it. The skin behind the knees are also a very sensitive location full of nerve endings just waiting to send waves of pleasure to the brain.
The head is the second area where erogenous zones congregate. The lips (also known as first base by many men out there) are, naturally, a very sensitive spot. Then there’s the nape of the neck, the perfect place to plant your kisses and watch passion grow. And while you’re here, you might wish to whisper sweet nothings in her ears and to bite on them lightly. This will show you’re a really good lover.
I don’t have to tell you that the buttocks are one of the erogenous hot spots of the body. Most women love to be touched there and some actually enjoy a light spanking. And, yes, I know that all you guys are dying to squeeze and caress every round and firm pair of buttocks on sight. A shapely ass is a gift from heaven. And if her hands grab your head while she begs for more, take your time to nuzzle her wrists. Bite her lightly and tell her you’re a vampire out for blood and passion.
The breasts are a time-tested erogenous zone and the favorite fondling spot of many men, but you have to be careful about them. Fact is that every woman has erogenous preferences and while men are dying to play with their breasts, some women may not be aroused by this. Women may also be turned off by poor lovers who give the impression that the only things that interest them in a woman is to get as quickly as possible to the breasts and vagina.
And we’ve saved the best for the last: the biggest erogenous zone of the body. The clitoris, vulva, perineum and anus together make up what is probably the biggest hot spot for erotic sensations. This is where you can let your fingers and lips play as much as you like, if the lady has no objections. Get to know this area well because it can be the gate to sex heaven and a man who really knows how to play down there is worth his weight in gold.
Sensual massage is the kind of approach that goes wonderfully well with a romantic dinner by candlelight. Take her out for an intimate dinner and then make your move, but instead of getting straight to the intercourse, surprise her with a massage. Let her know that her body is driving you crazy and that you want to touch every single piece of her. This is a time to put your problems and worries aside and focus solely on making her feel hot and sexy. Sensual massage is not a hasty affair, but takes a good long time and it features a lot of touching in the most intimate places. It’s not the kind of massage you would give to just anybody because it’s meant to bring out passion, awaken the senses and come to an explosive end with a satisfying orgasm.
You will probably want to keep a romantic CD or two handy in order to heighten the mood. Massage supplies also include candles and incense, the massage oil, some clean towels and a clean sheet which is bound to get all messy and sticky at the end of the massage session. You should start by massaging softly because the first thing you want is to help your lover relax and get into the right mood. Tease her a bit by playing with the erogenous zones, but avoid the breasts and vagina. Go slow and focus on long, languid strokes while rubbing your body against hers. Find your pace and make sure you don’t leave out any part of her body.
And when you finally reach the most important part of the massage, keep in mind that you should not go for it like a maniac. Maintain the same pace and don’t forget to ask for permission first. Some people don’t actually appreciate that level of attention and might feel too uncomfortable to go all the way. Start by asking her how she feels and if she’s enjoyed the massage so far and then ask her if she wants you to go further. If she says yes, massage her private parts starting with the outer lips and finishing with the clitoris and G-spot. If you’re both comfortable with the use of toys, use a vibrator on her vagina; she won’t mind.
This one is a delightful kind of massage that always ends with a good, strong orgasm and a cool, relaxed mood, leaving you refreshed and relaxed. The purpose of this massage is to achieve and maintain a high state of sexual arousal for as long as possible before letting things follow their course and bringing the show to a successful conclusion. Men who suffer from premature ejaculation can really benefit from erotic massages because it can get them used to maintaining a certain level of arousal without ejaculating.
Others may choose to use this massage as foreplay or as a method for enhancing the mood and increasing the erotic awareness of both lovers. For this type of massage you may want to get some CDs that are less on the romantic side and more of the stimulating variety; I’m talking about something closer to Billie Myers than to the Best Chill-Out Compilation: Volume 4 or whatever. Make liberal use of scented massage oil and make sure it’s a really spicy brand, not something suited for relaxation.
As always, don’t rush in and start with the genitals. Take your time and give a good all-around massage before focusing on the pelvic muscles. Massage these muscles into a welcome state of relaxation that will allow your lover to achieve arousal and yet stay relaxed for a long time. Whisper into her ear how much you want her and how sexy she looks. Complete the massage by moving to the most important parts of the body. Again, don’t rush; if you’ve been taking things slowly thus far, don’t spoil the mood now. Do a good job and remember that a prolonged and strong orgasm is better than a three second rush to the head. Save the rush for spontaneous sex in the park.
Tantra massage is a very, very special kind of massage, almost unique. It’s not readily available just everywhere because it takes a certain kind of specialization. The professional who provides such massage services must be a master of the basic and advanced principles of Tantra and meditation. The massage session must begin with ancient Tantric rituals and a time of meditation in order to focus on the Chakras and the spiritual link with the entire universe.
You must always keep in mind that this kind of massage is not meant to work the muscles and drive fatigue away, but to awaken the hidden mystic energy at the bottom of your spine and bring your body and spirit in complete harmony with the universe. If you’re planning to use music, then you should take the trouble to find some that has been designed to go along with meditation and Tantric massage. Such records are rare, but nonetheless available for sale. Some chill-out songs are also good, but it takes experience to identify the suitable ones.
Tantra massage makes use of light, sensual and slow strokes that can channel energy and increase the body’s sensitivity to a different reality. You may wish to apply some medium pressure along the sides of the spine in order to make your massage effective, but otherwise confine yourself to light pressure and to the movements inspired from the way energy flows through the body and especially the classic movement upwards from the base of the spine. A lot of skill and an intimate knowledge of your inner energy are required before even thinking to attempt Tantric massage.
Any kind of oil, lotion or crème goes along great with this massage, but you would do well to stay away from scented oils because they may draw unwanted attention to earthly things. Meditation and music are the only things you need for this kind of massage. Tantric massage can also be used to call forth the healing energy of the body in order to help people recover faster from injuries or illnesses. Couples can try Tantric massage in order to increase their intimacy and to create strong emotional bond between the two partners by building love, tenderness and trust instead of sex.
Oral sex techniques
The vagina is a sort of cave of wonders for most men. This organ that is so different from the penis in its physical shape has always been one of the most powerful turn-ons for men and also a constant source of attraction. Men simply can’t help being curious about it and also about the many techniques they can use on it to give pleasure. Fingers, toys, tongue, lips and penis, nearly all the small parts of our bodies that we can move at all have been used to please women.
And here are a few tips for all you people willing to make your lovers happy, but who are unsure of how to go about it. It doesn’t really matter how you feel about going down on a woman; just keep in mind that she will love it if you really know how to do it and that she will probably be happy to reciprocate. What could be better than a hot lady going down on you and not just out of a sense of obligation, but because she actually wants to do it? Those who are already proficient at oral sex and only want to brush up their skills should read this information can’t hurt you.
The best oral sex technique is based on a slow approach that is meant to increase the woman’s arousal without spoiling the mood by being too rough. Start by spreading the labia with two fingers and licking her from the vaginal opening up to the clitoris. Keep at it for a while, changing the movement pattern from time to time, and then have a go at the vagina. Most of the nerve endings that convey the sensation of pleasure are located within the first few inches of the vagina. So stick your tongue in. It won’t go very far inside, but you can move it in circles just inside the opening.
Once the woman is hot enough that licking her vagina is not enough anymore, you can move on to the most sensitive target. Pull back her labia and bring the clitoris into the light. Now you can greet the clitoris with a quick suck. Just take it in your mouth, slide your lips up and down it and then let go. After the initial greeting, you can get to some serious business by taking the clitoris between your lips and flicking your tongue over it. The speed of the tongue depends on how sensitive the clitoris in question is.
Oral sex goes hand in hand with G-spot or anal stimulation. It’s perfectly natural that while your tongue is playing with the clitoris or tracing the labia, your fingers should wonder around. So, stick a finger or two inside her vagina (the palm of your hand must face up), a couple of inches from the opening. Then move your fingers as if you’re making the “come hither” sign on the front wall of the vagina. If you’re on target, you should feel a little bump in the wall and your lady should let out a cry of delight.
Alternatively, you can stick a finger inside her anus and introduce her to the exotic pleasure from beyond the Great Wall of the Vagina. Use lubrication on your finger and on her anus. Don’t think you’re man enough to go in dry, because you’ll only get a kick in the face. If you do it right, there’ll be heaven in store for you and more.
One of the most common licking techniques for the long haul is the alphabet technique. The basic idea is to move your tongue over her clitoris in the shape of all the letters in the alphabet. This suggestion accomplishes two goals at the same time because it allows the man to use some variation in the movement pattern, but not enough to spoil the mood, and to prevent the unskilled lover from using the same movements again and again until the lady gets bored.
What Is Cunnilingus?
Although nearly every man who leaves his house on a regular basis in order to socialize knows at least one slang term to describe the act of sexual stimulation of the clitoris and vagina by using the mouth and tongue, not many men are familiar with the term cunnilingus. Others have no idea why fellatio is different from cunnilingus and what these two terms mean. However, it should be noted that such words are not used outside the medical community.
Cunnilingus is a form of oral sex by which the vagina is stimulated with the lips and tongue. The term itself comes from two Latin words: cunnus, which designates a woman’s genitals, and lingus, which means “to lick”. The basic technique is to gently lick, kiss or suck on the clitoris, the labia and the vaginal area. In practice, it’s up to the man to decide how to make the lady squirm with pleasure, although he is supposed to take the lady’s suggestions into account.
Many men base their views about cunnilingus on what they’ve seen in pornographic movies and stories. Unfortunately, a porno movie director does not have the money or film time to let the actors stage a proper cunnilingus and so the male star usually goes right for the woman’s clitoris. This is not a good idea because the clitoris is an extremely sensitive organ and should not be approached directly. More so if the woman in question is not fully aroused. Most times it’s preferable to begin cunnilingus with a gentle stimulation of the entire genital area.
Oral sex features the same huge number of variations and techniques as intercourse or anal sex, depending on what the two lovers like and dislike. The best way to go about it is to use your lips and tongue freely and either deducing from your partner’s response what works best or asking the lady to guide you. If she likes what you’re doing, keep on doing it. If she is uncomfortable and not any closer to orgasm, you might want to change tactics.
Don’t be afraid to use your fingers to get better access to the clitoris or vagina. Don’t be shy to use sex toys. You could try to insert a finger in the vagina or into the anus while stimulating the clitoris with your tongue. These kind of erotic games please ladies no end and can be easily made part of the sex life of any couple, regardless of sexual orientation. Some people tend to think that oral sex is a practice restricted to the gay community, but they are very wrong. Any couple can use oral sex as part of the foreplay or even as a replacement for the main course of the night.
Cunnilingus is a sexual act that does not lead to pregnancies and it’s also considered much safer than both vaginal and anal intercourse. Although many people are not pleased with the thought of oral sex because they worry about diseases or germs which could be passed on from the vagina to the mouth. However, the risk is actually very low, especially since any germ or disease picked up during oral sex would have been picked up through intercourse anyway.
What Is Oral Sex?
Some like it hot, some like it quick and some like it tender. And a lot of us like it oral. In the end is only a matter of personal taste, but a large number of men and women think that regular intercourse is fun, but cumbersome and not suited for every opportunity. Oral sex, on the other hand, is a huge turn on for them. They enjoy the feeling of another person’s tongue slithering over their private parts and also that of their own lips wrapping around a penis or clitoris.
Men are usually thought to be the most eager for oral sex and many armchair psychologists are sure that the preference for oral sex is a way of demeaning the woman and turning her from a human being into an object that provides sexual pleasure on demand. But other psychologists have doubts about the accuracy of such opinions. It’s worth noting that women enjoy cunnilingus performed by men just as much as men enjoy fellatio. It’s not often that one hears about a woman who turned down a man willing to go down on her.
Oral sex is a sort of umbrella term designating all sexual practices that involve the use of the tongue, mouth and even throat (you know when) to stimulate the genital organs. This kind of sex may be used as foreplay, as an equivalent for intercourse, as a means of reaching the climax after intercourse and even following intercourse. It also may be used as a form of contraception, coming from the idea that conception can never occur because the sperm does not enter the vagina. Nevertheless, couples should still be careful if their preferred method of sex is intercourse followed by oral climax because this contraception method is not 100 percent safe. Pregnancies can still happen, mainly because of poor timing on the withdrawal.
The three big types of oral sex are: fellatio, cunnilingus and anilingus. Fellatio is the oral stimulation of the penis and is usually performed by taking the head of the penis and part of the shaft in the mouth. Caressing the testicles with the tongue is also common during fellatio. Oral stimulation may be aided by hand stimulation of the penis in order to increase pleasure and speed up the orgasm. A well-known variation of fellatio is called “deep throat” and it focuses on taking the entire penis in the mouth. In this case, the head of the penis is pushed down the throat of the person performing fellatio.
Cunnilingus is the act of using the lips and the tongue to stimulate the female genitals and especially the clitoris, which is the most sensitive part of a woman’s sexual organs. Oral sex and masturbation are two very good options for giving a woman an orgasm, since studies have shown that only one third of all women can reach orgasm easily through intercourse. The genital organs of women are more complex than the male penis, which means that men have to learn how to please their partners on an individual basis. It is common to insert a finger or sex toy in the vagina or anus during cunnilingus.
And, finally, anilingus is the technique of stimulating the anus with the lips or by forcing the tongue into the sphincter muscle. Although many people believe that the practice of anilingus is restricted to the gay community, it is in fact practiced by people of all sexual orientations. The anus contains nerve endings similar to the genitalia, which makes oral stimulation very arousing.
Putting on a Condom
It’s a fact of life that some men don’t know how to put on a condom. Don’t put on a superior smirk and don’t feel embarrassed; there’s no need for either of these attitudes. Some guys have little experience when it comes to sex. Others have little experience regarding the use of condoms and prefer to go natural every time. So what? We all have to learn sometimes.
Fortunately, putting on a condom is not a big deal at all and any man, or woman for that matter, can get the hang of it in almost no time at all. If you feel you need to practice before attempting this during sex, by all means go ahead. Condoms can be bought from any pharmacy or, if you don’t feel like informing the pharmacist about your activities, you can use the vending machines.
What you need is an erect penis or something that looks like one, such as a banana or anything else that has the general shape of a penis and does not bend during the test. Break open the pack and take a condom out. Open the foil by tearing away one side and be careful about it. Remember that is very important to keep the condom undamaged. If you manage to botch this step and tear the condom, get another from the pack. Never use a torn condom during sex because it’s perfectly useless. It won’t protect you from STIs and it won’t protect the lady from unwanted pregnancy.
Next, remove the condom from the torn foil and look at it. You will notice that a small tip is hanging on one side of the condom. Be careful though because this tip contains a bit of air and trapping air inside the condom is not a good idea. Grab the tip between your thumb and forefinger and squeeze the air out. And while keeping your fingers on the tip, place the condom on the head of your penis with the tip up. Use your other hand to roll the condom down the length of your shaft.
And this is the final stage of the whole process. Now you are ready for sex and armed with the knowledge of how to properly put on a condom. The last thing you must always pay attention to is to prevent air from entering the condom because it will form pockets that are very likely to break during sex. Also be careful to buy condoms suited to your size otherwise the condom might start to slip off your penis at the worst moment possible. If you are completely new to condoms, buy a couple of sizes and try them all to see which fits you best.
When you’re done, pull out and start taking the condom off. You’d better do this out of the bed, some distance from the lady’s vagina. It would be a bummer to have sex with the condom on only to spill the load while taking the thing off you. The best way to remove it is to grab the tip as before and start pulling your penis out. Wrap the used condom in tissue paper, throw it in the garbage can and go wash. Now you’re all done.
Stimulating The G-spot
The G-spot could be compared to a sort of Holy Grail of sexual pleasure for women, while the men who look for it are knights errant trying to obtain the highest sexual satisfaction possible for their ladies. Many couples have spent hours trying to find the magic pleasure spot, mostly because there is something inherently alluring about mastering a way of boosting pleasure beyond the regular orgasm. And we all know that once you’ve found the hot spot, the gates of pleasure are wide open.
Any person who’s tried to stimulate the G-spot knows that it is located on the vagina wall, toward the pelvic bone and that in order to reach it one must insert a finger and then bend it upwards. This is by far the easiest way to find the G-spot and to stimulate it. Once you’re there, you can either move the finger as though you’re scratching something (don’t use your nails, though) or in little circles in order to cover a wider area. Come to think of it, better use two fingers on the G-spot, to get the most pleasure out of the whole thing. While you’re at it, you can also use a finger or your tongue on the clitoris or, if you’re feeling in a perky mood, put a finger up her anus.
There is not a lot of room for imagination and improvement when it comes to playing with the G-spot. The man can use his fingers, some sex toys or his penis, while the woman can stimulate herself using her fingers or toys. Of course, the sex toys must be appropriate for this activity, which means that you need a dildo or vibrator with a hooked or bent tip that makes it easier to reach the G-spot. Don’t move the toy around too much and don’t try to make circles with the tip. Toys are harder to use than fingers, so try to move the tip back and forward over the spot, while adding a little pressure. Your partner will certainly let you know if what you do feels good or not.
The playful lover knows that he can also reach the G-spot with his penis, although the thing is a bit trickier than just moving a finger around. You and your lady must try a couple of different positions in order to find those that allow you to give the G-spot a good rubbing. Doggy style comes to mind, because the penis can rub against that sensitive patch of flesh both when going in and when pulling out. Of course, the positions featuring the woman on top are also very good because the lady can adjust the angle of insertion to make sure that the penis takes the correct route.
So, there you have them, the three options for the bold lovers who are not content with regular sex, but are interested in discovering new ways of pleasing each other. And there’s probably no better way of pleasing a woman that full stimulation of both the G-spot and the clitoris at the same time. Men should not be ashamed to ask the ladies to help them locate the G-spot, especially since the ladies will certainly be eager to help. After all, it’s in their best interest.
How To Find The G-spot?
If you’re looking for the G-spot, you should know that this famous spot is a small area behind the pubic bone and surrounding the urethra. This little area is highly sensitive and the source of much sexual pleasure for some women, as the penis going inside the vagina rubs against the G-spot. In order to stimulate the G-Spot, men should position their penis for a thrust that is opposite to clitoris stimulation. A penis that curves upward has the perfect shape to strike the vagina wall in the area around the G-Spot, while men with downward curvatures may want to try the doggy style.
And now let’s move on to the practical part of the talk around the G-spot. I’m sure that you are eager to get right down to it and get your hands (or at least a finger) on the little bugger. Some men see this as a challenge and as something of a duty because they think it their duty to give their ladies the best possible orgasms. And that simply has to include a bull’s eye hit on the G-spot during every sex session. Stimulation of the G-Spot has also seen heavy use at the hands of sex experts who promote it as a bonus for happy couples and a true miracle for men who fail to please their ladies.
One of the things you want to keep an eye on is your lady’s reaction. As you get closer to the spot, she might instinctively pull back to avoid the direct stimulation of that sensitive spot. This could get you off the course and searching in the wrong area. You also want to begin the search only after your partner has been properly aroused. You could even wait until she had an orgasm and take it from there. The more aroused the woman, the more likely she is to feel the difference in sensation between the G-spot and the rest of the vaginal wall. Apply firm pressure and watch your lady’s reactions. She will guide you to the target.
The G-Spot can also be stimulated using the finger or tongue. It would require a 1 to 3-inch penetration of the vagina. No exact distance can be given since it varies from one woman to another. Experts found that changes in tissue structure occurring beyond the age of 30 make the G-Spot easier to reach. This is why some women in their thirties believe they are experiencing their sexual peak. The fingers are your best bet anytime, but there are also specially designed vibrators that can be used for stimulation. However, it is preferable to find the G-spot first with your fingers and then start poking around with the vibrator.
And finally, don’t be depressed if you failed to find it on the first try. Just think that you get more than one chance to finger your lady at will. Work on it and you will discover the G-spot sooner or later. On the other hand, if your lady simply lacks the higher sensitivity in that particular area, then that’s that. Don’t despair; there are other ways of dealing with the situation. You can always rely on the clitoris, the only organ dedicated exclusively to sexual pleasure, to get your lady over the edge and put a smile on her face.
Does The G Spot Exist?
I know that some people are going to find this hard to believe, but more than 60 years after gynecologist Ernst Grafenberg first spoke of the existence of a highly sensitive spot on the vagina wall, the famous G-spot is still the subject of debate. Experts have yet to agree on whether the G-spot actually exists or not. Some say it does, some say it doesn’t. One of roots of the issue is the fact that Grafenberg has never published any evidence to support his claim. For 62 years many experts have simply assumed that he knew what he was talking about.
The G-spot has been regarded as a sort of magic button that would allow any woman to reach orgasm through vaginal stimulation. This is what led at least one of the leading sex therapists in the U.S.A. to suspect that Doctor Grafenberg might have been influenced by Sigmund Freud’s belief that orgasms obtained outside vaginal intercourse are not mature. However, there is no way of knowing what evidence prompted Grafenberg to announce the existence of the sensitive area that still bears his name.
The thing itself is supposed to be a highly sensitive area located a few inches inside the front wall of the vagina and a huge number of men and women have chased this elusive spot with mixed results. A study focusing on biopsies of women failed to find a significant increase in nerve endings in the area where the G-spot is supposed to be located. On the other hand, a study conducted by Doctor Terence Hines, from Pace University’s Department of Psychology, aimed to provide a clear answer to the question. Eleven women were examined by two gynecologists, who concluded that four of the women did indeed have G-spots.
This goes to prove that no two human beings are built exactly the same. The pleasure one woman feels from having a penis rub over her G-spot, is not necessarily felt by other women. Unfortunately, the myth of the G-spot is firmly entrenched in the pop culture of our times and many women and men have experienced frustration at their failure to find the spot in question. As the studies mentioned above have shown, not all women are born with a high enough sensitivity in that part of the vaginal wall, while still others have no special sensitivity in the G-spot at all.
The bottom line is that women who can’t find this famous spot behind their pubic bones should not despair. It simply means that that particular area is not highly sensitive, which is no big loss. The clitoris is enough for a lifetime of orgasms and you don’t have to spend hours looking for it. On the other hand, if you are one of the women who has a G-spot, then kudos to you. You have a way of making intercourse even more pleasurable and you’re not likely to get bored in bed if your partner knows his way around G-spot stimulation.
Anal Sex Myths
Among all sexual practices that are allowed in polite conversation, anal sex is by far the least known and understood. There is still a thick layer of myths surrounding anal sex that obscure the simple facts and promote ideas and attitudes which should not belong in this century. Surveys show that one in four women has tried anal sex at least once and still many women refuse to even consider the idea of getting even more pleasure out of their bodies. Currently anal sex is struggling with the “red-headed step child” position inherited from oral sex, while moving slowly, but surely, toward mainstream recognition.
The most common myth about the anus is that it’s very dirty. We are all taught since our early years that the anus is a threat to our health and that any contact with it must be followed by a thorough washing. No wonder that many people reject anal sex without bothering to understand it. They are convinced that the anus is something irrevocably dirty that could never be involved in sex. However, a simple look around is enough to convince anybody that we’re living in an age where hygiene is better than ever. Anybody who follows the normal hygiene rules ought to have a clean anus. And one can always resort to an enema for extra cleaning.
“Anal sex causes hemorrhoids!” Have you ever heard this? Many women believe that anal sex can cause hemorrhoids or worse: fissures and tears in the anus. This goes hand in hand with the myth that anal sex can cause incontinence. While it’s true that nobody wants to spend the rest of his or her life wearing adult dippers, it must be said that anal sex cannot cause incontinence. It doesn’t matter to your body whether things are going in or out of the anus. Anal incontinence is caused either by severe damage to the muscles and nerves or by the brain’s failure to control the body. None of this happens because of anal sex.
Another huge objection to anal sex stems from the idea that it is a perverted act, an unnatural concept that has no place in the lives of decent people. Frankly, anal sex has been around for centuries and no, it wasn’t just something the Greeks did. This century does not have a monopoly on imagination and experimenting with one’s body and people from other cultures and other times had discovered long ago that anal sex is fine. The bottom line is that it’s your body and your decision. If you think anal sex is unnatural, then don’t do it.
“Anal sex is painful!” Well, the anus is tight, which means that anal sex is bound to hurt a lot each and every time, right? Wrong. First, everyone who wants to try anal sex should educate him or herself about all its aspects in order to avoid pain. Lubrication and condoms should take care of the skin-on-skin friction, while patience will allow the anus to relax enough to receive a penis. Even a big one. More often than not, if anal sex hurts, you are doing something wrong. Probably not using enough lubrication or pushing too fast.
And finally, the last common objection is the idea that anal sex is something only homosexuals do. This is simply ridiculous. Across the centuries men and women have enjoyed anal sex without the slightest hint of homosexuality. Not to mention that many homosexuals simply refuse to have anal sex because they don’t like it. There is no link between anal stimulation and homosexuality. Ultimately, it all comes down to choices. If you don’t want to engage in anal sex, then don’t. Just be sure you’re making an informed decision instead of resorting to a knee-jerk reaction to something you don’t understand.
How Do I Talk To My Partner About Anal Sex?
The easy answer is the tried and true solution: communication is the key to having anal sex. You need to make your partner understand that you like the idea of having anal sex, that you would like to put it into practice and that you wouldn’t do anything that may hurt her. Achieving the right approach is very important because it might just make the difference between a “Why not?” answer and the “You sick bastard!” answer. Think about which of these two answers you’d like to hear from your lady and act accordingly.
One of the best ways of educating yourselves on anal sex is to buy one or two books and read them together with your partner. Of course, you need to bring up the issue before buying books, because it would look a bit strange if you suddenly whipped one out. Maybe mention it during a conversation on fantasies and ways to improve your sex life. Make her a trade: anal sex for whatever fantasy she wants to try. New territory is always exciting, especially in sex, and you might have a big surprise learning that she’s not all that opposed to anal sex. Still, it’s all in how you bring it up.
Whether you have some previous experience with anal sex or not, one thing is clear: when the words “anal sex” are spoken you and her will think of very different things. Chances are you’ll think “Nice and tight!!!”, while she will focus on “Dirty AND Painful!”. This difference in looking at the issue will extend down to every detail. You are probably going to worry about condoms and lubrication and she will wonder whether anal sex will cause hemorrhoids or anal fissures. What you should do is to try and understand all her worries and to find the proper solutions to her problems.
So educate yourself about anal sex and use a relaxed, yet eager attitude. If she says no, accept the answer and try again later. If she says yes, don’t start hollering and jumping around the room. Be cool and try to identify her fears and worries; just because she said yes, it doesn’t mean that she is 100 percent cool about it. She’s probably thinking “Well, it can’t be that bad” and you need to work hard to get her to the proper “Hey, this sounds fun!” attitude. And another very important thing is to refrain from appearing too anxious to do you need to help her build confidence and that’s not going to happen if you’re being pushy about the subject. She will only think that you are insensitive or, worse, untrustworthy. Since anal sex gives full control to the man, the lady depends on you and has to be very confident that you would not do anything to hurt her. A pushy man that wants to rush things is not likely to make a woman trust him because he looks like he might do anything and not even apologize later.
Safe Anal Sex
So you have your heart set on anal sex and are dying to bring this subject about in a conversation with your lady just to see where you stand. Who knows, maybe she’ll be open to the idea of trying a little anal play? At the very least, you hope she’ll refrain from throwing you out the door. But there is something you can do that may increase your chances of having a reasonable talk about anal sex instead of a swift and utter rejection: information. You need to know nearly all there is to know about anal sex and you need to be able to answer her every question.
Starting with the basics, the first advice anybody would give you is to be careful about health hazards. First and foremost, your lady must keep a clean anus and rectum. Enemas are great before anal sex, although a simple shower is likely to be enough if the lady in question has the proper hygiene habits. A very good idea is to take a shower together before sex and start your path toward anal sex by delicately washing your lady’s bottom. She’ll appreciate the gesture, while you’ll appreciate the feeling of reassurance. You will want to repeat this delightful ritual after the anal session.
What you need is to come across as fully informed and ready to take into account her objections to this or that aspect of anal sex. You need to be able to put her fears to rest. Naturally, she will try to do her own independent research into this issue, but that should not keep you from becoming quite the little expert on anal sex. A thorough knowledge of the issue will impress her and, coupled with a suitable self-assured attitude, will give the impression that you know what you’re doing despite the fact that it will probably be the first time you’re penetrating an anus.
The third point on the list is relaxation and patience. Relaxation is something the lady should try to achieve before and during anal sex. Apprehension, anxiety and fear are not going to help the situation. Correctly performed anal sex will cause only brief pain and, sometimes, no pain at all. So ladies should learn to relax their anus, while men should learn to be very patient. It all starts with a finger covered by a condom and a liberal amount of lubrication going slowly into the anus, pausing at every knuckle to let the anus adjust to the feeling and stretching.
And since we’re on the subject, never take your penis out of the anus and stick it into the vagina without cleaning it first. Infections have no positive role in your life together. For that matter, you should never attempt anal penetration without a condom. The rectum was not designed for penetration and friction. Its walls are not covered with the kind of tissue found in the vagina and there is no lubrication inside. This also means that you should never pump in and out as fast as you can, unless you’re asking for trouble. Unfortunately, not even a condom can prevent the damage that anal sex causes to the inside of the rectum, but using a lot of lubrication and a condom is far better than the naked penis. Moreover, not using a condom exposes your penis to urethral infection from the various bacteria thriving in the rectum. So, whether you’re sticking a finger or your penis up the anus, make sure it’s covered by a condom or a small sheet of latex.
After the anus is sufficiently stretched that the said finger slides easily in and out, you can move up to two fingers and, finally, to the penis. The process is not complicated, but you have to be very patient. Always remember that hurrying is very likely to cause injuries. With all these facts in mind you can hold your own in a conversation and patiently explain how anal sex can be made very safe and pain-free. Have fun.
What Are The Benefits of Tantric Sex?
Tantric sex is not just regular sex. The average “in-out-have a nice day” kind of sex is seen by those who practice Tantric sex as simply wasting energy on something that could be much more than that. Therefore, one could say that Tantric sex means taking sex to a new dimension and using it to improve the link between body and spirit and to extend the rejuvenating power of orgasm to the whole body. After all, why shouldn’t we profit from something that is in our power to do, especially since it does not take much to acquire this skill?
One of the goals of Tantric sex is to stimulate the endocrine glands to produce more hGH, serotonin, DHEA and testosterone. These hormones help improve sexual health, promote the flow of blood through the body, take out the trash (toxins, that is) and strengthen the nervous and immune systems in order to increase the overall health. A person who’s into Tantric sex feels healthy and rejuvenated without the use of substances or devices. Sex is quite enough to bring about these changes in a person. However, one must know how to engage in sex and what to do in bed in order to achieve this healthy state.
Practitioners of Tantric sex claim that it has a rejuvenating effect on men and women, improving sexual health and altering the body’s chemistry by means of brain waves. Frequent and powerful orgasms are a sure way of changing somebody’s mood and of relieving anxiety and depression. All the maladies plaguing the modern mind (such as stress, depression and lack of confidence) can be cured by having sex more often and by experiencing better and more orgasms. And along with these problems of the mind, one could easily get rid of other problems.
Women are interested in Tantric sex because the stressful lifestyles of today take their toll on sexual health. Tired and stressed people are in no mood for sex and, thus, have a bleak view of life and suffer from more conditions than happy people. Although we cannot know for sure, there is a fair chance that many frigid or unhappy women could live far more satisfying lives if their lovers really knew how to take care of them. One of the targets of Tantric sex is to take this unhappiness and turn it into a positive mindset using the body’s own resources.
Men, on the other hand, can have a lot of fun with Tantric sex, especially since it also focuses on improving erection and ejaculation, the two pillars of sex for men. Sexual satisfaction also results in a huge boost to self confidence, which is very likely to trigger a reinforcing psychological pattern of successful performance and increased confidence. A man who can give himself and his partner a couple of strong orgasms on a regular basis is a happy and healthy man. Not to mention that his partner is also bound to enjoy a positive view on life and a general feeling of healthy living.
What Is Kama Sutra?
Of all the treasures of learning that Europeans have acquired from the Far East, Kama Sutra is perhaps the best known, along with Yoga and Buddhism. Starting with the industrial revolution of the late 18th century and the advent of fashionable foreign traveling, Europe and Northern America have been flooded with art objects, ideas, values and philosophy from the Far East that changed, to a certain extent, our way of thinking. Busy Westerners obsessed by tomorrow are intrigued and fascinated by the attitudes of people who are content to live this day and who are not afraid of the future.
When mentioning Kama Sutra, most people think of it as an exotic help book on sexual satisfaction or just an ancient porn magazine. The complete name of the book is actually “Vatsyayana’s Aphorisms on Love” (“Vatsyayana Kamasutram”) and it’s a treaty made of 36 chapters. The aim of this collection of aphorisms is to provide a comprehensive guide to sex, relationships with courtesans, courtship of married women, marriage and, finally, improving one’s chances to have good sex through the use of herbs, substances, spells and sex toys. As you can see, the purpose of this book was to become a definitive guide to what love and sex meant to the Indian society around the 4th century AD.
Aside from sex and love, the “Aphorisms on Love” is a very orthodox book, after the fashion of the society that spawned it. Its purpose is to teach the lover what to do to get the woman he desires while still protecting both his and hers good names and reputations. Reputation was extremely important all over the ancient world, not just in India, and the person who forfeited it for such an insignificant thing as sex was considered to be frivolous, not worthy of the esteem of others. Vatsyayana himself, a celibate scholar, believed that sex was not bad in itself, but that engaging in it was certainly frivolous and sinful.
The 36 chapters are each written by an expert of the issue and cover a wide range of issues, such as observations on the daily life of a citizen, sex positions, personal adornment, how to kiss, gaining the confidence of women and the means by which courtesans get money. The best-known part of the book, the study of sex and sexual positions, makes up only about 20 percent of the whole text. Nevertheless, those who are truly interested in sex should read the entire book. After numerous centuries the ancient theory is still surprisingly accurate because people still want the same basic things from one another.
Although this may sound very unlikely, at the bottom Kama Sutra is somewhat akin to Machiavelli’s “The Prince”, although the Indian book on love is much more careful to observe the morals of the time. Both books are guides to some of the aspects of their respective societies and both deal with them in a frank and realistic manner. Vatsyayana is not fooling himself that men and women are naturally virtuous creatures and so was perfectly willing to give advice on how to seduce married women, just as Machiavelli knew that a prince is bound to do evil things from time to time.
What Is Tantra?
Men and women living in Western Europe and North America are fascinated with foreign cultures, beliefs and traditions because they are so different from their own. The wave of philosophies coming from the Far East has caught the interest of Western people and chief among them are Yoga, Buddhism and Tantra. From the Middle East, the Western world has taken the Kabala movement and a lot of Arab architecture influences, while the African continent gave us sculpture and painting. In this article we are going to see what Tantra is and why so many people are interested in this ancient and exotic practice that is so far removed from the Western ideas.
The early form of what is known today as Tantra was a group of esoteric practices that had more to do with rituals and special ways of doing things than with a stand-alone religion. One could say that Tantra is a different technique for reaching spiritual enlightenment and self-realization. This is, of course, the ultimate goal of Buddhist, Yoga and Hindu traditions, but Tantra aims to offer its own path by using different practices. However, over the years Tantra has garnered a dubious reputation both in the Eastern and Western worlds because of the incorporation and use of sex.
Contrary to what many people think, Tantra is not just one well-defined tradition, but simply an umbrella term for several esoteric traditions whose origins go back in time a long way. In its various forms, Tantra has spread across India, China, Japan, Tibet, Nepal, Pakistan, Korea, Cambodia and Indonesia. In these lands, the Tantric principles were taken from their context and incorporated into the local customs and modified to suit the tastes and needs of each new group of practitioners. The Tantra myths themselves offer no clues to their origins, since they tend to focus on the usual mythical explanations.
Basically, the ritual sex is meant to reenact the creation of the universe, which came from the primordial intercourse between the gods Shiva and Shakti. The sexual embrace is supposed to bring the individuals to the level of gods and allow them to put aside their individuality for a while and become one with the divine consciousness that fills the universe. Since those who practice Tantra believe that everything in the universe is a manifestation of the divine, it follows that sex, too, is a step on the path to master body and mind. The entire ritual is supervised by a guru, whose presence is considered to be crucial to the success of the two individuals who attempt it.
Most people who have heard of Tantra see it as a way of getting more pleasure out of sex and never bother to look beyond the obvious. In a similar manner, many people practice Yoga as a way of flexing the muscles and fail to understand the deeper meaning and purpose of Yoga. The sexual rituals promoted by the Tantra gurus focus not on reaching orgasm, but on opening the soul to the experience of infinite awareness. These rituals are only meant for those that can separate themselves from this world and move beyond the basic emotions associated with sex. Thus, sexual pleasure has no place in the Tantric practices.
Common Male Worries
You have no idea how many men spend a lot of time worrying about sex and their ability to perform. It must be of the biggest issues in the life of a man and it affects his general disposition in a positive or negative manner. A man tormented by anxiety is either a man whose sex life is not very satisfying or who thinks that he does something wrong. It doesn’t matter if the partner is not complaining, the man still feels inadequate. Some men actually spend a lot of time worrying about this or that and no amount of reassurance could put their minds at ease.
The top problem of any man who likes sex and wants to have as much as possible is the classic “Am I good enough?”. This question can mean several things, depending on what the individual sees as a liability. It could mean “Am I big enough?” if the man in question has an average-sized or small penis. It could mean “Am I attentive enough?” for the worried lover who likes to get the dining and foreplay part right. It could also mean “Am I really giving her an orgasm?”. One of the big unanswered questions for men is whether women fake it. And how often?
Near the top of the tree lies the eternal question to which millions of frustrated men have been trying to find an answer: “Does size matter or not?”. Once more we are faced with the unenviable task of saying that there is no definitive answer to this question. It all depends on the woman and what she likes or dislikes. Some women think a 6-inch penis is big enough. Some don’t care one way or another as long as the penis is not too small. However, there is no definition set in stone for “too small”.
“I’m still a virgin. HELP!!!!”. Don’t give in to despair because you don’t need any help, just some common sense. There is no deadline for losing the virginity. And you certainly should not take unnecessary risks just because you simply have to have sex with someone in order to avoid being labeled a loser. Have some patience, it will happen sooner or later and it’s far better to save the first time for somebody special, than to visit the VD ward or fall in love with a person that doesn’t care for you.
Then we have a whole bunch of problems that belong to men who are less experienced when it comes to sex. “How do I find the clitoris?” is a common question among the men who rely on intercourse to carry the session and are too embarrassed or too grossed up to go and explore the genital area. Take heart, boys, there is nothing to be embarrassed about. Nature has made us wonderful beings and worthy of each other’s respect. And by the way, giving oral sex can be a fantastic experience.
Which leads us to the next big worry. This one can be summed up with the nice question almost any man has asked at one time or another: “How can I tell if she’s had an orgasm?”. Unfortunately for the men, there is no way of knowing for sure whether the lady has had an orgasm or has acquired considerable skill at faking it. If the issue is really bugging you, then try and discuss it openly with your partner. However, unless you or the partner are dissatisfied with your performance, you should leave well enough alone.
“She’s more experienced than me! What do I do?”. Bask in the moment, of course. If she is indeed more experienced than you, ask her to teach you all the tricks (she’ll be tickled pink by the idea), then start improvising on the knowledge. Pretty soon you’ll have her amazed and you’ll be in control, if that’s what you want. Alternatively, you could slowly sharpen your skills, while enjoying every minute of pleasure from a woman who really knows how to take care of a man.
And, finally, we have another series of situations that make men uncomfortable: “She not ready for sex / anal sex / oral sex / fantasies”. Guys, rushing in or being pushy about something as intimate and as important as sex is the worst possible approach. Keep your hormones in check and help her overcome her fears or worries. If you don’t care for the soft approach, then leave the girls alone and find somebody else. Think about the day when all your waiting will pay off and she will say “Yes”. That’s something worth waiting for.
Sexual Hygiene For Men
Hygiene is a cornerstone of modern civilization. It might be said that hygiene has become one of those things that are taken for granted among civilized people. Intimate hygiene is part of the daily cleaning “ritual” and is considered to be just as important as overall hygiene. The sex organs are more sensitive than other parts of the body and frequently engaged in intimate contact, which is why they should be as clean as possible, if not cleaner. Frankly, the last thing you want when you take a lady to bed is to discover that she’s not a hygiene fan.
In order to clean the penis, you should start at the tip. Grab the foreskin and pull it back as far as it would go in order to expose the glans. Using lukewarm water, gently wash both the glans and the inner part of the foreskin. These actions will not cause you any pain as long as you’re careful when handling one of the most sensitive parts of your body. Make sure that the glans and foreskin are perfectly clean. It’s in the space between the glans and the foreskin that the white substance known as smegma is formed.
Smegma is a mixture of skin oils, moisture, dead epithelial cells shed by tissues and bacteria. Since bacteria tend to thrive in any warm place that has plenty of moisture and is not exposed to the elements, be sure to wash away all the smegma from under the foreskin. Letting bacteria and dead tissue cells accumulate is a sure way of getting every woman’s nightmare: a smelly penis. Accumulated dirt, sweat and bacteria will certainly cause infections at one point or another in the future.
Intimate hygiene is also important for penis enlargement. Using an enlargement device such as a traction device or a pump on an unclean penis will simply spread bacteria all over the penis. Men who engage in penis enlargement exercises are also exposed to infections if they fail to maintain a high standard of intimate hygiene. This is why warming up and down using hot water in the shower is recommended as a good way of preparing for a penis enlargement session and as a chance to clean the penis.
Circumcised men have to be even more careful about their intimate hygiene. Since they lack a foreskin to protect the sensitive glans from sweat, dust and all manner of substances that should not come into contact with the penis, they are exposed to all sorts of hazards. Some men choose circumcision precisely because they think that losing the foreskin helps keep the penis clean, but it’s not that simple. The foreskin has its own role to play in keeping the penis healthy.
The debate about the hazards and benefits of circumcision is still going strong after decades of data passed back and forth. Many doctors say that removing the protective foreskin is less hygienic and leaves the glans exposed to various bacteria that cause infections of the urinary tract. At the same time, other doctors maintain that the foreskin traps smegma and dirt and so, uncircumcised men are not spared the danger of infections.
Regardless of how you feel about circumcision, one thing is perfectly clear:
Hygiene, and especially intimate hygiene, is of the utmost importance to you. It keeps infections away from this sensitive area and makes sure that your sexual relationships will not suffer.
What Is Sexual Fitness?
Sexual fitness is the latest idea to push its way into the popular culture of our times and, like most other good ideas, it sounds simple, but requires a lot of dedication. And whether you’re one of those guys who like to stay up until morning with the friends at the pub, or one of those who jog in the park and like to think of themselves as health-oriented, you are going to have to pay attention to this new concept making headlines today. The basic idea is simple: your sexual health is related to your overall health, which means that any abuse of your body will translate into a loss of sexual performance.
Any man who wants an excellent sex life should learn to take care of his body and, most important, to keep his cardiovascular system in perfect condition because a healthy erection depends on the normal flow of blood through the body. Junk food, as well as any food rich in cholesterol should be kept to a minimum, while cigarettes, large quantities of alcohol and all manner of recreational drugs should just go away. A glass of alcohol once in a while will do you no harm, but try not to drink more than this bare minimum.
Smoking brings nicotine into your body and nicotine constricts the veins and arteries, slowing down the flow of blood and making your erections harder to achieve. Alcohol also wreaks havoc on your cardiovascular system, which spells doom for your erections. Many men really think they can do anything they want to their bodies, they can push them to the limit and beyond with alcohol, tobacco, drugs and food and never ever suffer any setbacks in the bedroom department. Well, this idea is plain wrong. There’s no way to abuse your body without having to suffer the consequences.
Losing a bit of weight in the process is not a bad idea, especially if you are a couple of pounds overweight and would really like to get rid of that spare tire around the waist. Just follow this simple advice and you will enjoy strong erections well into your old age. Physical effort keeps the blood flowing, keeps your heart in shape and increases the production of testosterone, three things which are very important for your sexual fitness. Increased blood flow to the pelvic area can be obtained through exercises that work out the lower part of the body, including the quadriceps, hamstring and lower back.
Stress, unhealthy food, long work hours, various pills and lack of physical exercise is all part of this problem because they lower the body’s capacity for effort and, consequently, the capacity for achieving strong and satisfying orgasms. Moreover, the abuse that we do to our bodies is compounded by the process of aging. At the age of 15, the erect penis has the highest rigidity value, but every decade that passes subtracts a bit from that number, sapping the vitality that is essential to anybody’s sex life. Nevertheless, the only thing that keeps this negative pattern going is our own lack of effort to improve the situation.