Re-Entering The Singles Scene


A Man’s Guide To Re-Entering The Single’s Scene

If you are just getting out of a committed relationship you may need a few tips for re-entering the single’s scene. While the single’s scene may not have changed tremendously during your relationship, you probably have. Being in a committed relationship is much different from being involved in the single’s scene and you may need a few tips before re-entering the dating world. You’ll need to relearn previously mastered skills that may have been forgotten such as making yourself appear attractive, asking out someone and planning a date and reading the signals of other singles. Additionally, if online dating sites didn’t exist when you were courting your previous partner you may need to learn a little about this before re-entering the single’s scene. It may take some time to get back into the single’s scenes but these tips will help to ease the transition.

The key to attracting potential partners is to make yourself appear as attractive as possible. This may not be as simple as it sounds. You may look in the mirror and see yourself as attractive physically, mentally and emotionally but your opinion is not what is most important in the dating scene. What you believe is attractive may not be perceived that way by other singles so it is important to have a good understanding about what your potential partners may identify as attractive. Try using your previous relationship as a guideline for making yourself appear as attractive as possible. Think back to what it was about you that attracted your previous partner and try to emphasize that feature or characteristic. For example if your previous partner frequently complimented you on your broad shoulders and your thoughtfulness, you may want to wear clothes that accentuate your shoulders and take care to treat new acquaintances thoughtfully. Understanding what potential partners may find attractive and emphasizing these features are essential to a man who is ready to re-enter the single’s scene.

If you were in your previous relationship for a long time, it has probably been quite awhile since you have had to ask someone out. The key to success in the single’s scene is the ability to ask others out on dates and have them agree to go on a date with you. This is not a difficult skill but it is one that a man may need to brush up on if he has been out of the single’s scene for awhile. If you want to have a great deal of success in asking people out, be confident without appearing arrogant. This will make you seem like you are sure of yourself but not self-centered and will make you more desirable. Also, when asking someone out, offer specific suggestions for what you would like to do on the date. Just asking someone if they would be interested in getting together sometime is not nearly as effective as asking if they would be interested in joining you for dinner and dancing on a certain date. One of the most important aspects of the single’s scene is the ability to ask people out successfully and many men may need a few tips on this as they prepare to re-enter the single’s scene.

In the single’s scene, it is also very important to be able to read the signals that others are giving off. This skill will help determine if others are interested in you but this ability may have become rusty while you were in a committed relationship because you became used to your partner and the subtle ways they communicated with you without using words. In the single’s scene however, singles are constantly giving off subtle signals that let you know whether or not you should approach them. Understanding body language that indicates that the other person is not interested will help you avoid wasting your time on someone who isn’t interested in you. A person who crosses their arms or turns away from you and averts eye contact is likely not interested in pursing a relationship with you. Conversely, someone who smiles at you from afar, makes eye contact and angles their body towards you is probably interested in getting to know you better and may be open to going on a first date with you.

Online dating and web sites that host personals ads are becoming increasingly popular. If these weren’t available when you were courting your previous partner or you are unaware of how these sites work, you may want to explore the Internet as an opportunity to meet new potential partners. Understanding how online dating sites work will help you to navigate your way around this cyber single’s scene. While you may meet the love of your live online, it is important to exercise restraint in dating someone you meet online as it is very easy to deceive others online.

Re-entering the dating scene after a long relationship can be tricky but hopefully these tips will help to guide you through the single’s scene. It’s important to remember that the dating scene probably hasn’t changed much since you were involved in it. Most likely, you have changed more than the dating scene so it just may take a little time before you remember how to successfully navigate the single’s scene. Also, keep in mind that being yourself and having fun is the most effective way to meet people.

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A Woman’s Guide To Re-Entering The Single’s Scene

A woman who has been out of touch with the dating scene for any length of time may need a few guidelines before taking the plunge and re-entering the single’s scene. Re-entering the single’s scene may perhaps be more difficult for a woman than it is for a man. Women who are out of the dating scene for any length of time may have a difficult time readjusting to the uncertainty of the single’s scene. Their previous relationship may have offered them a sense of security that no longer exists in the dating scene and this lack of security may make women tentative to re-enter the single’s scene under any conditions. A woman who re-enters the single’s scene needs to understand that in today’s dating scene it is acceptable for women to be the aggressors and take the liberty of asking men out, that turning down a man for any reason is still acceptable and that she should trust her instincts in dating situations. The single’s scene may not have changed much over the years but a woman who has been out of the scene for awhile often needs a few guidelines to help her re-enter the single’s scene successfully.

It is steadily becoming more and more acceptable for women to ask men out on dates instead of vice versa. This non-traditional gender role may be a bit confusing for some women at first but they will soon learn that this can be both a positive and a negative. No longer do women have to stand by and wait to be approached by a man. Now women are free to be the aggressors and ask out men that they find attractive. In the past a woman may have waited and waited for a guy to ask her out but now she can feel secure approaching a man and asking him out. While not having to wait for a man to make the first move may be a positive improvement in the single’s scene, the downside is that women now understand the immense pressure that men feel when asking someone out. They may find that walking up to a guy they find attractive and asking him out is not as easy as it sounds. Most likely they will gain a newfound respect for men who are willing to take the risk of asking them out.

Many women may be hesitant to turn down a man who asks them on a date but in today’s single’s scene, women need to realize that they can and should turn down men that they are not interested in dating. While they may want to be polite and not hurt the man’s feelings, it is perfectly acceptable to let someone know that you are not interested in dating them. You may have tried sending subtle messages to convey your lack of interest in the past but sometimes bluntness is required to get your message across. Learning to say no is an important aspect of a woman re-entering the dating scene. Women need to understand that they do not have the time or energy to date every man that approaches them and that refusing a date request is perfectly acceptable.

Finally a woman who re-enters the single’s scene needs to have a firm understanding of the dangers that exists in this scene. While a woman may meet many trustworthy and honest people in the single’s scene, there can be dishonest people who intend to harm you. If it has been a long time since a woman was actively involved in the single’s scene, she may not realize the changes that have taken place. It is no longer safe to agree to meet anyone in a secluded location. In fact, even if you plan a date for a well lit and populated location, you may still want to bring along a friend for security reasons. As the number of unscrupulous people entering the dating scene increases, so does the instance of date rape and acquaintance rape situations. It is no longer safe for a woman to completely trust anyone she meets while involved in the single’s scene. While a man may seem completely safe, it’s important to never put complete faith in anyone you have just met. Also, if something just doesn’t seem right with a particular man, it is best to trust your instincts and not pursue further contact with this man. The dating scene has become a potentially dangerous place and it is important for women to realize this as they re-enter the single’s scene.

Re-entry into the single’s scene for a woman doesn’t have to be a difficult process. In general the single’s scene has not changed tremendously but there are some key points for a woman to understand before she re-enters the single’s scene.

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How To Read Romantic Body Language

Being able to read body language can give your clues as to whether someone has a romantic interest in you or not. By accurately reading their body language you will be able to determine whether or not the other person is feeling comfortable around you and eager to get to know you better. Understanding body language is also significant because it can ensure that you are not unintentionally sending the wrong messages out to other people. Body language can often be both subtle and subconscious but if you are aware of your body language you can make a conscious effort to make sure that you are sending an accurate message to others with your own body language. The art of reading body language really isn’t difficult and once you are familiar with a few guidelines you will come to realize that understanding body language is very intuitive. Correctly reading body language will ensure that you don’t miss out on approaching potential partners who are sending you signs that they are interested in pursuing a romance with you.

How close a person stands to you can be one of the most important body language clues to whether someone is interested in you romantically or not. Their proximity to you can be directly proportional to their romantic interest in you. In other words the closer they stand to you the more interested they are in you romantically and the farther they stand away from you the less interested they are in pursuing a romance with you. In general the two foot rule applies. This means that if a person does not get closer than two feet to you, they aren’t interested in a romance with you. This distance is significant because a length of two feet is approximately an arms length and standing this far from you makes the other person feel safe that you will not reach out and physically touch them. This subtle use of body language to avoid closeness with you is a clear sign of a lack of romantic interest. Conversely, if the person stands closer to you and within arms reach they are not apprehensive about being touched by you and are sending you a signal that they are interested in you. The intimacy of standing close to someone is a clear body language indication that you have a romantic interest in that person.

Another body language clue that someone is interested in you is that they begin to copy your own body language. This often happens subconsciously but if you notice someone mimicking your behaviors it is a clear sign that they are interested in you. This mimicking behavior can begin almost immediately and is very easy to read or pick up on. If you notice this behavior, you may initially feel upset as though the other person is mocking you by copying you but this is not the case. In fact the behavior should be flattering because it is an indication that the other person admires you and is trying to become more like you in subtle ways. More often than not the other person isn’t even aware of what they are doing but there is a natural instinct to try to imitate those that we admire to draw ourselves closer to them. Mimicking is pretty easy to notice and it is also a clear body language indication of romantic interest.

Body positioning can also be a form of body language that can either convey romantic interest or disinterest. When speaking to someone, if their body and particularly their torso is turned towards you and leaning closer to you this is an indication of romantic interest. This body positioning leaves you unguarded and vulnerable which indicates trust in the other person. If this trust were not in existence you would not put yourself in such a vulnerable position and would be more likely to stand with your body turned slightly away from the other person and leaning away from them. Standing in a way that positions your body in an open position towards another person is a clear example of body language that expresses a romantic interest.

Your eyes often send body language messages to those around you letting them know whether or not you are interested in them. When you have a romantic interest in someone you make eye contact and also blink often. Both of these signals let the other person know that you are attracted to them by conveying the message that you are interested in what they have to say. Avoiding eye contact lets a person know that you are not comfortable with them and that you do not have a romantic interest in them. If you are uncomfortable looking someone directly in the eye and avoid eye contact, you are trying to send the message that you are not interested in further contact with them. It’s often said that the eyes are the windows to the soul and this may be true as your eyes can certainly send quite a message.

Although body language is often subtle and subconscious it can also send a clear message regarding romantic interest. Perhaps the fact that body language is subconscious is what also makes it such an accurate indication or romantic language. Since body language is done without thought it allows the person to send messages that they would be uncomfortable conveying verbally.

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How To Become a Better Listener

Listening is an integral part of the communication process but it is also the part that is overlooked most frequently. Many people spend a great deal of time polishing their speaking skills but put little or no effort into becoming a better listener. The art of listening really isn’t very difficult and you can improve your listening skills in just a few simple steps.

Perhaps the most important tip for being a better listener is to give the speaker your undivided attention. Be sure to concentrate on the speakers words and resist the temptations to tune out their message. While speaking on the phone many people participate in other activities such as checking email, reading newspapers and other activities that distract from the conversation. Even in a face to face situation many listeners zone out by either thinking about their response to the speaker or daydreaming about something completely off topic. By allowing yourself to be distracted, you are not listening as well as you could be. Even just a small amount of distraction could result in you missing a critical point of the speaker’s presentation. Focusing 100% on the speaker, however, will ensure that you are listening well and taking in all of the pertinent information.

Part of being a good listener is making sure that everything you hear comes directly from the speaker and not from your interpretation of their words. This means that as the speaker is talking, listen to the words as they are being spoken instead of trying to guess the point that the speaker is trying to make. Many people are guilty of jumping to conclusions this way and this hurts their listening ability. People who do this often don’t hear the speaker’s message because it is blocked out by their own assumptions. Good listeners take in information as the words are spoken instead of thinking ahead and forming their own conclusions.

Creating mental images of the speaker’s words is another way to become a better listener. This visualization process allows you to really comprehend the words you are hearing. Visualization techniques can enhance the way that people process information. These mental images will help you to retain the information you have just heard and this enhanced comprehension makes you a better listener.

Asking questions that relate to the speaker’s presentation can also help you to become a better listener. It’s important to ask questions without allowing the formulation of the questions to interfere with your listening. If you latch onto one of the speaker’s key points and spend the rest of the conversation thinking up a question you will miss a lot of information. However, if you ask your questions immediately when they arise, you can have them answered in the context of the presentation without having it affect your listening abilities. Asking questions is an important part of listening because it lets the speaker know that you are following what he is saying and that you are interested in learning more about the topic.

Being mindful of your body language is another way to be a good listener. Be sure to not engage in body language that tells the speaker that you are not interested in their words. Crossing your arms, avoiding eye contact and wincing are all ways that you can send a message to a speaker that you are not listening carefully to them. These mannerisms can result in the conversation being cut short because the speaker does not feel you are interested in what they are saying.

Practicing your listening skills is another way to become a better listener. Make a conscientious effort to apply your listening skills each time you speak to someone or attend a presentation. You can practice your listening skills by remaining completely focused on the conversation or presentation, not trying to guess what the speaker is about to say, creating mental images of the spoken words and asking pertinent questions to affirm what you have just heard. Each time you have the opportunity to listen try to work on these elements.

While listening skills are not as widely practiced as speaking skills, they are just as important to a conversation. Being a good listener will not only ensure that you are receiving information but will affirm to the speaker that you care about the information being presented and that you understand their message.

Jason Smith

Former Marine, IT Guy & Builder of Websites.  I have 5 US states left to visit. I enjoy hot springs, adventures, hiking, photography, sci-fi, wine, coffee & whiskey.  I am fluent in sarcasm, name that tune, & speak in movie quotes.  I spend most of my time building websites, fixing computers, metal detecting, magnet fishing and gaming occasionally.

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