The market is flooded with how to approach women books.
The 5 signs she’s ready to talk to you.
The 33 ways to get her out on a date.
The 1.5 billion ways to seduce women.
I don’t know about you, but I used to read this stuff and feel intimidated to even think about using it to approach women. Sure, I wanted to know HOW to approach women. But it in reality it wasn’t the HOW that was a problem. It was having the ‘guts’ to do it! Getting over the fear. That was my block.
I remember back when I was 16. I was out with 4 mates in a bar, up in York. Sorry, did I say 16? I meant 21!
There was loud music pumping out – conversation was nigh on impossible (I was old before my time really!). A few of my friends were out dancing on the floor, while I just skulked around the edges. To be honest, pubs and clubs weren’t my scene, but I felt like I had to go regularly just to have any chance of finding a girlfriend.
Like I said, I was mooching around on the side of the dance floor, trying to look cool and casual, sipping my drink just a bit too often.
Then my eye was caught.
A really stunning women, up on the balcony was staring straight at me. You know how it is; instinctively you know when someone is looking at you. I looked, our eyes met… and we lived happily ever after J Er, no! Not a chance.
In fact our eyes met, and faster than forked lightening my eyes darted off, my cheeks reddened and I got all excited. Wow – she was hot though. And she was looking at me!
To cut a long story short – she spent the next 5 minutes looking over at me. I’d pluck up the courage to look back, but our eyes were like opposing magnets, every time she looked at me, I just couldn’t hold my gaze back at her. Finally, she got fed up and moved on. I couldn’t blame her really. I spent the rest of the night, scanning round trying to catch a glimpse of her – simultaneously kicking myself because I was such a putz.
This wasn’t an isolated event either. In fact it could describe almost any evening I went out. It played out virtually every weekend, often once or twice a night. Sometimes more!
Finally, I’d had it. I was beginning to hate myself for it. I just had to change, because I was never going to find a beautiful girlfriend, let alone a partner if I couldn’t even introduce myself to the women I wanted to approach.
So what did I do?
I bought and read virtually every book I could to do with dating and talking to women. And you know what? It still didn’t help.
The bottom line was – it wasn’t that I didn’t know HOW to talk to women. I just didn’t have the guts to. I was too afraid of being rejected. I was too afraid of what it meant if they got bored and left me after 5 minutes. I didn’t feel like I could get with anyone as beautiful as some of the women that were flirting with me.
I didn’t need 101 ‘techniques’ to seduce women. I just needed to get over my fears of approaching women. I needed to stop making a big deal out of this very first part of dating, but I didn’t know how.
Happily, it all ended well. Partly because of my frustration with my shyness/fear, call it what you will, I forged my career becoming an expert on dating and relationships.
What I learnt allowed me to break through my fears and learn how to approach women and actually enjoy it! Yes, ENJOY IT! Unbelievable!
But what did I learn, that you can use to break your fear of approaching women?
3 Actions To Eliminate Your Fears
Here’s 3 actions to take to help you start to eliminate your fears of approaching women.
1. Answer this question
What does it mean if a women rejects you? What does it mean to you? Your answer to this question is likely to be something significant. Maybe it’s saying you’re not a fun /nice person, or you’re boring. What does it mean for you? Note that for those who don’t have a problem with rejection, it probably means nothing. Literally, ask them the same question and they say, it doesn’t mean anything. Spot the difference there?
2. Fear is a signal
A signal that you’re not fully prepared. If you don’t know at least a few decent opening lines for a conversation that you can say easily, then you’re not prepared enough – and you have every right to feel fear. Or if you know that your conversational skills aren’t up to holding an exciting and engaging conversation, then maybe your fears are appropriate and are preventing you from getting hurt. What are you not fully prepared for in this situation? What’s your plan to do something about it?
3. Get a basic knowledge of flirting
You can learn 100 flirting signals – if you want to do a doctorate in flirting. In the real world though, you only need to know nine. The most important nine. Master them and you will be able to tell with 90% certainty whether your approach will be successful or not. If you could know with 90% certainty your approach would be successful each time, and you’d proved it to yourself for a few months, would you have the same fear approaching women any more? No. So learn the top flirting signs, practice recognizing them and use them to your advantage.
How To Approach Your Crush at The Gym
Every man would like to have a beautiful, sexy girlfriend with a perfect body, with whom to be very proud and start the envy of all his friends. Let’s face it: there is no man on the street that will not look after an athletic body of a beautiful, attractive lady. But for many of them this remains only a dream because they don’t know where to meet this kind of woman and how to do it. The best place to meet a woman with an athletic body and in a very good shape is gym.
With the current attention being paid to healthy lifestyles, fitness has become a very important aspect of life today. That’s why more and more people decided to go to the gym. Let’s say that you are going to the gym for a long time and in the last days a new interesting girl is passing over here. She is very attractive and you would really like to know her better but you don’t know how to approach her.
Approaching a woman successfully is only one of the most stressful situation a man must face because you don’t know her, how she thinks, what she likes, and if she is friendly or not. But, if you make it carefully and know how to do it, you may have success. You may use these tips to approach your crush at the gym.
– First and the most important, if you want to be flirting with, don’t wear earphones, because it will inhibit her approaching you
– Find something that you both do at the gym so you will be able to ask her advice about, or a machine that you both use, to have what to talk about
– You may talk to her about gym, sports, regimen, workout
– Best way to start a conversation with her is to go to some machine near by her and ask if she is using it or not and just start talking afterwards
– First talk to her as a friend to see if she notice you
– Use deodorant to make sure that you don’t smell bad, to not make a bad impression from the beginning
– Try to catch her eye every time you see her and smile
– If she smiles you too you may approach her because she is interested
– Pay attention and if she is having trouble with a machine or accessing an equipment you may offer your help in order to start a conversation with her
– You should try to get her phone number, but don’t look too desperate
– Also you may try to bring an iPod with you and ask her if she knows a certain song
– If you decided to go near her and start a conversation you must know from the beginning what to say, so think first and then go
– Accost her once she has just finished her set and ask if you can work with her, to make alternative exercises
– Start to make accidental body contact
– When she is leaving you may say to her goodbye and ask her when she comes again, then she will have to talk to you next time she will see you
– You may ask her friendly for a cup of coffee somewhere near the club, you don’t have anything to lose
– Spot her at the gym
– Another important aspect is that you have to look very serious about your workout, so don’t stay and stare at girls; if she see that you are just fooling around she will notice that you are going to the gym just to date
Remember that you don’t have necessarily to become a personal trainer or to do yoga classes to get a beautiful lady which you’ve seen at the gym; you just have to take it carefully and know how to approach her.
How To Approach College Women
College life is very different when you were in high school however to some students, especially those who do not have a family member who has been to college, think that college is much like high school. But there are some very big differences. There are students who did not do well in high school, “blossom” in college. Others never get used to college life and do not do as well as they did in high school. In college, you can grow and develop as a person. In college where you will probably be over 18 years old, you will also be treated like an adult. And because you’re already an adult, you will be responsible for the way you live and you will have to make sure that you do what you are supposed to do. Even if in college you will be free to explore and discover numerous paths and interests that were simply not open to you in high school, you should know your limitations.
Practically, everything you want to do and everywhere you go, you will encounter similar college aged. And it was socially acceptable to flirt with them, ask them out, get drunk and make out with them, etc. Let’s start at the very beginning. The first thing you have to do before you start a conversation with a college girl or college women is to approach her. That is the first thing you have to take – how to approach college women.
But do you know how to approach college women? Actually, there are several ways on how to approach college women. First and foremost, you should take note of your dressing. Make sure that you are always neatly dressed so that when you see her, you know that you ready to approach her. Apart from that appearance thing, what is the other way on how to approach college women? In order to approach and attract women, you should know what attitude you should project when you approach college women. Start first with eye contact. It is one way on how to approach college women. One could start a contact without saying a word. Then when she looks at you, give her a nice and casual smile. Well, a simple “hi” together with a casual smile would be enough. Research shows that 71% of women, particularly college women responded and acknowledged to men, who opened up with that line.
So, what’s next? What are the other ways how to approach college women? If she smiles back, then pursue another method on how to approach college women, talk to her and treat her nice. And now that you know how to approach college women, what would you say to her? What kind of opening line after the word “hi” can you use without looking silly or without being stupid? To have a successful conversation wit any college woman, you must know what to say and what not to say. Men and women think and tank differently, so if you want to talk successfully to a woman, listen first to her and relate to her conversation. If she’s done, it’s about time to share your personal experiences and wait until she feels comfortable with you. You want more techniques how to approach college women?
How about tips on how to approach college women at bars and disco clubs? Usually, you will find college women in bars and disco clubs because they find these places as a good way to relax and hang out with friends. So how to approach college women in places like these? When a girl goes up and starts dancing on the dance floor, slowly move in and start dancing with her. But do it nicely because some girls may think that you are big headed and arrogant. After that, ask for her name and when you start with a conversation, make sure that you use her name in the next sentence or two to show her that you are paying attention and you are interested in her. These techniques on how to approach college women is very effective. You would surely get the girl you ever dreamed of.
How To Approach A Woman And Score
A lot of men preceive the task of starting a conversation with a woman especially if she is highly attractive stranger a hard and discomforting one. Besides that, they typically take the wrong attitude of being too nice and over openhanded with flowers, paying for dinners and expressing their lack of confidence and low self esteem.
The women on their part are not attracted to unconfident, dishonest, wussy men. They will either decline him on the spot or possibly worse take advantage of the situation by exploiting him to furnish her meal after meal, present after present and usually see other man for real love, romance and sex. In this situation the woman has two men a provider and a lover.
The nice boy, fawning, wussy approach may be observed Whenever a man is requsting a woman to dance or offer to buy her a drink without ever to build the attraction or chemistry.
Is Cocky rather then Wussy is the answer?
The nice boy attitude is not the perfect way as we realized above and being really mean and vulgar won’t function either, the correct way that has proven 90% of the times to work magnificently with women is the confident, bold, cocky and funny attitude.
In this approach you build the relationships on a give and take, a flattering remark and a bust (with a smile), you indicate the woman you’r self assured enough to criticize her, you express yourself naturally neer women, you aren’t scared of her, you are not caring if she likes you or not, you are genuine and express your opinions openly, you are playing the confident hard funny guy. Now you bring her self confidence to the test, you challenge her, you intrigue her, you build the attraction. Let her chase you! You need to be her prize, a reward for her hard earned efforts for behaving like she should have with you.
For example you start and Say something such as: I like your jacket it’s really nice (a flattering remark), then comment: but it doesn’t fit so well with your shoos does it ? (a bust), you do it on purpose, you ought to practice on it.
You should tease her like hand it to her and then take it away in the last minute, be spontaneous, unexpected, a teaser and fascinating.
How do you know if she is interested?
Its simpler than you believe and it goes like that: You engage with her: What a beautiful pair of boots you’r wearing , I really like them, She is looking who is it and then say: Thanks. You: aren’t you melting in them at such a hot weather? (smiling) or are you trying to hide your feet from me? She: (smiling) hell, no, I love them that’s all, Ill bet my feet are nicer in comparison with yours, Mr. long nose. (she responded so she is engaged too *-). You: wow, I understand you develop a very good opinion about yourself attractive lady, why wont we arrange a feet contest…
The important thing is to keep it running with light humoristic and fun approach. Without even realizing it you are mutually engaged in developing a relationship and building your mutual attraction.
Whenever you start dating with a woman keep in mind you are not on an employment interview, don’t make it sound like questions and answers, don’t make it boring, don’t try to show off, talk with her just about general things she likes and sympathize with, such as famous Television shows etc, it may look to you at first to a certain extent superficial but this is the way to go. Try to avoid, at least at the beginning, talking on your problems at work, your relations with your parents etc’.