Erotic Massage 101 A Guide To Sensual Massage

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How To Give an Erotic Massage They’ll Never Forget

This overview educates exactly how to offer and also obtain sensual massage therapy. It reviews just how to aid your companion unwind, and also reviews just how to aid your companion experience expanded or numerous climaxes as component of your massage therapy. An usual setup is for one companion to get a massage therapy initially, and afterwards to return the support, however naturally just how you pick to organize this depends on you as well as your companion.

It’s finest to carry out sensual massage therapy while your companion is resting on a massage therapy table of some kind. After preparing your room to be cozy and also pleasing, you can begin with a sensuous and also stress-free basic massage therapy prior to changing the emphasis to your companion’s sex facilities. The suggestion is to bring your companion to high degrees of stimulation, and also maintain him or her there for some time. For guys, this is best done with spoken or non-verbal interaction which enables excitement to be reduced, transformed, or quit in the past climaxing comes to be unavoidable (excitement after that proceeds in a couple of minutes, after the necessity discolors). For ladies, this is best done by utilizing G-Spot and/or clitoral massage therapy to bring her to numerous climaxes, which normally often tend to occur over an extensive amount of time.

Sexual massage therapy can function similarly well for same-sex when it comes to opposite-sex companions. Furthermore, as having a person enjoyment you with their hands does not have a tendency to raise the exact same collection of social anxieties and also judgments that foreplay or sexual intercourse occasionally do, it occasionally functions well also when your companion isn’t of a sex you are generally drawn in to.


Preliminaries (Set as well as Setting)

Taking the time to produce a sensuous and also enticing setting for your sensual massage therapy reveals that you respect your companion and also worth enjoyment. Begin by switching off the phones. You might want to place a “Do Not Disturb” join the door, light up the area with either candle lights or soft indirect lights, melt scent, and also show up the warmth to where one would certainly fit relaxing nude. Maintain your lubricating substances, oils, and also handwear covers (if required or wanted) within simple reach, and also cover the massage therapy table with a covering and also location a tidy sheet over this covering. You can allow the sides of the covering as well as sheet drape over the sides of the table to ensure that they might be raised to cover the getting companion (maintaining him or her cozy) after the massage therapy is completed. Parts of (perhaps phony) hair or plumes can be made use of for added sensuous tantalization, and also an eye cushion or blindfold can be handy in shutting out any kind of undesirable light for your companion.

Placing a CD (or prerecorded tape) of your preferred songs on repeat play is an excellent concept. Some individuals are a lot more comfy with a cushion or rolled bathroom towel below their knees and/or head (when existing face up) or their ankle joints (when existing face down), as well as some females will certainly be much more comfy with a cushion beneath their hips; if this is your very first massage therapy with your companion you may intend to experiment a little or ask him or her.If you’re mosting likely to be offering the massage therapy, have a look at your finger nails and also clip them if needed.


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One resemblance in between males and females is that some type of lubricating substance requires to be utilized when rubbing their genital areas: this will certainly make the experience much more pleasant and also avoid aching places from establishing. One distinction in between males and females is to utilize oil-based, water-based, or silicone-based lubricating substances on guys, while one need to utilize just water-based lubes on ladies to prevent motivating genital infections. For genital massage therapy on guys, or for massage therapy in other places on a guy or female’s body, you can acquire unique massage therapy oils at massage therapy supply stores otherwise simply utilize a light grease (such as Safflower, Sunflower, or grapeseed) from the grocery store. Lubes as well as oils need to be reapplied as essential, so it’s excellent to maintain them useful.

It’s extremely hassle-free to have flip-top press containers for lubes as well as oils, and also among those massage therapy oil “belts” that massage therapy supply stores offer. Because much of these belts have 2 pockets, you can make use of one for lube and also the various other for massage therapy oil. Make certain lubes as well as oils are cozy prior to placing them on somebody; if you want you can run warm faucet water over your flip-top containers for a couple of mins prior to utilizing them, or possibly you can simply maintain the plastic containers in a dish of cozy water rather than making use of a belt. It’s additionally an excellent suggestion to place lubricating substances in your hand prior to using them so you have a possibility to scrub your hands with each other to heat them if required. Oh, as well as one last word of recommendations: please make certain any type of water-based lube you might be utilizing DOESN’T include Nonoxynol-9. In this context Nonoxynol-9 is not likely to do anything yet aggravate.


Excellent Communication

Throughout both the leisure and also genital stages of your sexual massage therapy it’s crucial for the individual on the table to constantly really feel comfy making demands and also remarks. She or he need to do not hesitate to state anything that is hindering of his/her convenience as well as enjoyment. Demands to head to the washroom, for touch to be tougher or lighter, to relax or quit, for the warm to be shown up, and so on, are all indicators that degrees of interaction and also trust fund are high. They are likewise indications that the getting companion is paying focus to his/her sensations, which is an essential to experiencing better as well as higher satisfaction.

Some individuals discover that sex and/or enjoyment can raise hard psychological concerns for them. When somebody is sobbing, or in a likewise troubled mood, it’s normally best to simply be there for that individual as well as assure them that it’s OKAY to weep (potentially while holding them) instead of attempting to reasonably review what is taking place or participate in analytical. Asking what they require as opposed to presuming excessive is likewise a great concept.

I wish it do without stating that you both must remain in contract that your connection consists of the opportunity of sex-related affection prior to proceeding with a sensual massage therapy. Circumstances where the offering companion attempts to change a leisure massage therapy right into a sensual world for the very first time, however the getting companion was anticipating or desiring just leisure massage therapy or does not feel your relationship ought to consist of sex, can be awkward and also embarassing at the least. It’s worth it to in some way bring this subject up ahead of time with a brand-new companion, also if you need to flush a little when informing him or her what you believe it would certainly be enjoyable to do with them.


Providing Your Erotic Massage

Unwinding Your Partner’s Body

Begin by getting in touch with your companion. There might specify means you as well as your companion favor to do this. Otherwise, attempt kind words, soft looking right into each various other’s eyes, integrated breathing, and/or touching each others’ faces or hands. When both of you prepare, have your companion lie encounter down, nude, on the massage therapy table. Beginning by silencing and also concentrating your mind while relaxing your hands on the obtaining companion’s top as well as reduced back. After that, execute a relaxing massage therapy on the back, legs, as well as feet.

Standard concepts of unwinding massage therapy consist of maintaining your hands in call with your companion, taking your time, being balanced yet delicate, as well as following lengthy moving strokes to much deeper ones. When offering a massage therapy make sure to make use of great body auto mechanics: make use of your body weight instead of arm stamina for deep strokes, throughout moving strokes maintain your knees a little curved as well as liquid, and also do not lean over the table.

After unwinding your companion’s back, legs, as well as feet, have him or her turn over. Massage therapy the upper body, arms, as well as hands. After that move to the legs. It can really feel great to comb the genital areas when dropping to the legs. After ending up the fronts of the legs as well as feet, move back up and also gradually brush over the genital areas, teasing them. This teasing procedure can be extracted by cleaning the internal upper legs near the genital areas, really gently touching the pubic area, and so on. Now sensual power is frequently developing, making it an all-natural time to begin moving the emphasis to even more clearly sexes.

Particularly if this is your initial massage therapy with this companion, it’s an excellent concept to check into your companion’s eyes while nestling his/her genital areas, as well as in some way ask his/her consent to go even more. The remainder of the massage therapy will certainly concentrate on the genital areas, with routine scoop as well as down the body to spread out, equilibrium, and also incorporate the experiences. Among the abilities that includes technique is having the ability to check out the power and also stimulation degrees of your companion, as well as efficiently and also slowly increase from loosening up massage therapy to even more exciting as well as sex-related massage therapy.


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Pleasuring Your Partner’s Sex Centers

Male – Introduction

The standard concept of male genital massage therapy is that you ought to reduce, quit, or alter what you are doing right before climaxing ends up being inescapable. The very best means to complete this is for the male to offer a signal prior to this factor is gotten to. Spoken signs, increasing a hand, retreating somewhat, and even refined body movement hints can all function well. This duplicated “coming to a head” procedure can often assist males discover to have several climaxes without having an orgasm, and also can likewise be exercised throughout solo self pleasure.

Although postponing climaxing throughout the training course of the massage therapy is preferable from the point of view of making best use of satisfaction, several companions simulate to complete the massage therapy with one. Climaxing offers a significant stimulate of satisfaction, yet can leave males as well worn down to delight in the remainder of the night or do an excellent task rubbing their companion; opposite-sex companions that such as to complete male genital massage therapy with climaxing
need to have the female obtain her massage therapy initially.

It’s additionally enjoyable to urge your companion with warm talk (perhaps weaving with each other a spoken dream based upon your companion’s wishes). Allowing your companion understand vocally and also non-verbally that you’re proactively appreciating his enjoyment can be an effective aphrodisiac. As an apart, it needs to be kept in mind that a wonderful attribute of male genital massage therapy is that an erection is not needed for it to really feel great; some massage therapy strokes in fact really feel BETTER when the penis is soft.

Suggested Genital Massage Strokes

There are various massage therapy strokes that really feel great on male genital areas. Unless he shows or else, it’s normally secure to think that company as well as constant rubbing will certainly really feel best. One technique that some individuals prefer is choosing 2 preferred strokes, as well as for an amount of time rotating in between them every as soon as in
a while.

“Healing Stroke” – With the penis hing on the tummy, mug the spheres with one hand. The heel of the hand of the various other hand moves up and also down the bottom of the penis completely to the pointer. (Body Electric School handout)

“Anvil Stroke” – Bring one by far, allowing it stroke the penis from the leading completely to the base. When it strikes all-time low, launch it. On the other hand bring your various other hand to the top of the penis and also repeat the stroke, producing a rotating movement.

“Climbing the Mountain” – Take the penis in one hand as well as delicately, sensuously touch it for concerning 10 secs, after that offer it one fast up-and-down stroke. Repeat the sensual caressing for regarding 10 secs (possibly making use of sluggish up-and-down strokes), and afterwards provide the penis 2 fast up-and-down strokes. Repeat the caressing, after that offer 3 fast strokes, and so on. Proceed till climaxing techniques certainty.


It’s up to both of you whether to completed with a climaxing. If you do, after that pleasuring can proceed completely via climaxing and also up until your companion asks you to quit. At the end of the massage therapy (whether there is a climaxing), the sheet/blanket mix can be folded over the individual on the table to supply a cozy cocoon. This can be a time of extensive tranquility as well as satisfaction with each other.


Women Intro

Women sex-related feedback is typically considerably various from male sex-related reaction, in the complying with methods:

1. Women stimulation often tends to be much more very closely connected to emotions, as well as sensations of heat in the direction of her companion.

2. Several ladies can be available in 2 noticeably various methods: via G-Spot excitement as well as via clitoral excitement. Several females identify the clitoral climaxes as “sharper” and also the G-Spot climaxes as “much deeper”.

3. Females frequently differ significantly in what sort of sex-related excitement they such as, and also exactly how they like it done.

4. Women stimulation typically takes longer to construct, however can commonly last longer as well as be extra extreme than that which guys frequently experience.

5. Ladies can commonly have several climaxes, if excitement proceeds adhering to the very first (specifically with G-Spot excitement).

It’s as a result of # 5 that the standard method to sensual massage therapy varies in between females as well as males. Considering that ladies can in some cases take pleasure in excitement right via one climax as well as right into the following, there is little or no requirement for them to keep back by any means. Having climaxes in a collection can trigger arousal degrees to drift for a long period of time at an extremely high degree.

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Suggested Types of Stimulation

Females differ in their preferences worrying G-Spot and also clitoral excitement, so you require to be mindful as well as pay attention. An usual choice is for their companions to start with mild massaging over the whole vulva, to follow this with clitoral excitement, as well as to do with G-Spot excitement or G-Spot AND clitoral excitement. Please know that neither clitoral excitement neither any kind of kind of genital infiltration typically really feels great unless a lady is currently in a rather high state of stimulation. When doing genital massage therapy on ladies one commonly has a “liberty” which might be made use of to move over the remainder of her body, tease her nipple areas, massage therapy her perineum, touch her face, kind “links” with various other components of her body (by promoting a few other component of her body at the very same time as you are pleasuring her genital areas), and so on.

Although the genital massage therapy designs offered listed below are several of one of the most frequently preferred amongst females, there are a lot more.

“Clitoral” – When rubbing her clitoris, discover what component of it really feels ideal to her. Entering circle it gently and also rhythmically with a oiled finger is a great way to continue, at the very least up until you obtain even more details responses or up until you discover something that clearly really feels much better. When you discover something that really feels wonderful, uniformity with it is frequently the trick to more enjoyment. Some ladies locate that clitoral climaxes really feel much better if their vaginal areas are happily filled up: even more fingers or an appropriately-sized vibrator are great ways to achieve this, though infiltration of any kind of kind generally does not really feel great to a person that isn’t excited, so it possibly isn’t what she would certainly desire you to begin right out with.

“G-Spot” – The G-Spot is a location on the forward wall surface of the vaginal canal, simply behind the pubic bone concerning 2 inches in. A female can frequently inform you when you’ve discovered her G-Spot, and also it frequently really feels even more “jagged” than the bordering cells. Pushing right into it can be extremely enjoyable, yet might create a feeling of requiring to pee. Women climaxing is occasionally an outcome of G-Spot excitement; women have an orgasm is NOT pee, however IS eliminated via the urethra. One simple means to promote the G-Spot is with your (oiled) initially and also 2nd fingers with each other (perhaps beginning with simply your very first finger). Make balanced motions inside the vaginal canal that appear like the signal to “come below”.

Additionally, one can scrub the G-Spot in a round style. Usually, it’s the pads of your fingers which are pushing right into her G-Spot. An additional strategy is to turn your fingers inside her genital barrel with also stress versus all locations of it. Understand that the form of the vaginal area adjustments as a female’s arousal degree boosts. You’ll most likely discover the internal part ballooning in an outward direction throughout severe stimulation, which suggests that your fingers will certainly require to turn a little further from facility in order to preserve the very same stress on the genital wall surfaces. G-spot excitement typically just really feels great when the female is excited.

“Vibrator” – Vibrators typically function best on or near the clitoris. If the resonance is as well extreme, button to a reduced rate or place a fabric in between the vibe and also her clitoris. It’s ALRIGHT to allow your companion hold the vibe. It’s likewise enjoyable for a vibe to be utilized clitorally at the very same time genital infiltration is being done. One of the most flexible vibes are the typical plug-in designs such as the Hitachi Magic Wand and also the Wahl. Sex supply stores such as Good Vibrations and also Toys in Babeland market these vibes, together with different add-ons for certain type of excitement.

“Verbal and also Non-Verbal Encouragement” – It’s valuable to motivate your companion with warm talk (potentially weaving with each other a spoken dream based upon your companion’s wishes). Hot matches, eye call, and so on are additionally great enhancements. Several sex-related troubles (specifically for ladies, it appears) originate from fears: stressing that her companion is burning out of pleasuring her, that she isn’t coming quickly sufficient, and so on. Allowing your obtaining companion recognize vocally as well as non-verbally that you’re proactively delighting in offering her enjoyment can be an effective aphrodisiac for her.


It’s wonderful to fold up the sheet/blanket mix over your companion when you 2 are completed. This can be a time of extensive tranquility and also satisfaction with each other.


Variants and also Enhancements

Aware Breathing

Routine, mindful breathing is an effective method to improve both leisure massage therapy as well as sensual massage therapy. If the getting companion fails to remember to take a breath, the rubbing companion can advise him or her by taking a breath rhythmically as well as audibly. Some companions locate that integrating the breathing in between both of them results in terrific feelings. Simply do not hyperventilate …


Finishing with Intercourse

Some companions (particularly opposite-sex pairs) like to do with sexual intercourse as opposed to the blanket-wrapping I’ve defined. Because many massage therapy tables are strong sufficient to sustain 2 individuals, near completion of the massage therapy one companion can get on leading the various other and also they can both fuck themselves to what are commonly really effective climaxes. Hence, they can complete secured each others’ welcome (although also without sexual intercourse the standing companion can lean over and also accept the getting companion’s top body, otherwise simply carefully relax his/her hands on the obtaining companion).

Regardless of what mainstream porn has a tendency to depict, females do not generally have climaxes from sexual intercourse alone. Nonetheless, a lady is MUCH much more most likely to experience climax throughout sexual intercourse if she has actually had several climaxes (particularly of the G-Spot range) prior to sexual intercourse commences. Popular settings for male-female sexual intercourse consist of missionary and also woman-on-top (which permit in person affection) and also “doggie design” (which permits the female to conveniently scrub her clitoris WHILE being permeated).


The “Big Draw”

This strategy for finishing a massage therapy was established by the Body Electric School. In the mins preceding it the massage therapy job must be ending up being a growing number of energised, structure as well as structure. At a specific factor (counted to vocally, so both companions recognize when it’s coming) massage therapy and also any kind of various other touch discontinues, the individual on the table takes 7 really deep breaths, as well as while holding the 7th breath squeezes every muscular tissue in his/her body as well as rolls his/her eyes back in his/her head (potentially presuming a stressful placement with upper body and also legs a little bit off the table, as in a “crisis”) for around 10 secs. She or he after that totally kicks back, returns to routine breathing, as well as the standing individual delicately folds up the sheets/blanket over his/her body.

For optimal impact the songs ought to be rather “planetary” now, as well as the individual carrying out the massage therapy should not touch the individual on the table (that has his/her eyes shut, or that has a blindfold on) for a minimum of 5 mins or up until the individual on the table demands or else. This technique can prompt extensive psychological launch, and also commonly hallucinations. Later on, the standing companion opens up the cocooned sheets, delicately towels off any type of oil, aids his/her companion to stay up, and after that both companions either maintain silence or state what remains in their heart. It’s enjoyable to comply with the Big Draw with a jacuzzi or a cozy bathroom.

It’s valuable to make use of a pre-arranged and also timed songs tape. Preferably, there must be 5 secs of silence right away complying with the Big Draw, and also perhaps throughout it. Songs needs to have been developing to that factor, as well as must return to with something truly attractive after the silence adhering to the Big Draw (“Gabriel’s Oboe” from The Mission soundtrack, or “With This Love” from Peter Gabriel’s Passion soundtrack, as an example).


Integrating COMPUTER Muscle Contractions (“Kegels”)

Contractions of the COMPUTER (pubococcygeus) muscle mass are connected with enhanced sex-related satisfaction for both males and females. This muscle mass might be recognized by seeing what muscle mass you make use of to quit the circulation of pee when you are peing (without relocating your upper body or legs);

it’s the very same one. The COMPUTER muscle mass can be worked out by having and also launching it; one method is to rhythmically get when breathing in as well as unwind when breathing out. Normally, the more powerful the COMPUTER muscular tissue is, the much more extreme one’s climaxes can be. The COMPUTER muscle mass can additionally be consistently gotten and also unwinded at different times throughout sex (such as throughout G-Spot excitement, or throughout male climaxing) to raise enjoyment. Male can make use of the COMPUTER muscular tissue to stop climaxing; this is done by holding the breath while either highly birthing down (“pressing out”) or snugly pressing (“holding in”) utilizing the pelvic muscular tissues.


Prostate Stimulation

A sophisticated method in male genital massage therapy is to promote the male’s prostate gland at the very same time one is promoting the penis.

This can be made with a finger an inch or more inside his rectum, continuing the dome form discovered towards the penis. When boosting the prostate, you need to put on latex handwear covers, have brief finger nails (otherwise pack cotton rounds around your finger nails and afterwards placed handwear covers on), and also make use of great deals of lube. Component of what some novices discover unique concerning rectal infiltration is that it makes one feeling as if one needs to go to the restroom. By bowel movement quite extensively prior to starting play, one might have a less complicated time not translating this brand-new experience in the old context. Please see either The New Good Vibrations Guide to Sex or Anal Pleasure as well as Health for even more information. Continuing the prostate gland throughout climaxing, or when a male is close to climaxing, can really feel terrific. It is likewise feasible for some males to have ejaculatory climaxes with prostate excitement alone.


Synchronised Pleasuring

When each companion has enough experience with his/her very own sex-related action, they might want to attempt shared excitement. This is best done on a bed, instead of on a massage therapy table. Just relax encountering each various other, heads close with each other, as well as enjoyment each various other with your hands. Once more, for males somewhat retreating or offering a few other hint when climaxing impends will certainly permit play to proceed.

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Appendix A: Additional Male Genital Massage Ideas

Using the “Extra Hand”
Some male genital massage strokes require only one hand. Here are some suggestions for things you can do with the “extra hand”:
Massage the legs or chest. Tease the nipples or other erogenous zones (note: “connections” can be made between erotic arousal and almost any part of the body, by linking stimulation of the genitals with stimulation of this area). Rub the perineum, possibly with an oiled fist or several fingers. For some men, this may stimulate the prostate gland. Wrap an index finger and thumb around the penis between the balls and the body. Contract slightly to form a living cock ring. Alternatively, this can be done between the balls and the shaft, rather than between the balls and the body. Gently tug on the hairs covering the testicles. Cup or tickle the testicles.

With one hand pull the shaft’s skin toward the base and wrap the fingers of this hand around the base to act as a living cock ring. Using the other hand, rhythmically pick various points along the shaft of the penis and squeeze opposite sides of the penile shaft at these points, releasing pressure either immediately or after only a brief period of time.

Rub the penis between both palms, as if rubbing two sticks together to create fire. Be sure to use plenty of oil.

Hold the penis in one hand with the head sticking up. Using the well-oiled palm of your other hand, slowly and sensitively massage the head of the penis. Reverse directions every once in a while.

With the penis resting on the belly, the hand closest to the feet cups the balls. The heel of the palm of the other hand glides up and down the underside of the penis.

Pull the skin of the penis toward the base with one hand. With the other hand corkscrew the penis. This can be done with the thumb and first finger or with the whole palm.

Bring one hand down, letting it stroke the penis from the top all the way to the bottom. When it hits the bottom, release it. Meanwhile, bring your other hand to the top of the penis and repeat. See also: Milker and Perpetual Penetration.

Place both of your hands side by side against his shaft like a pair of bookends. Now push hard against his penis. Then lift your hands up and down. Continue in this manner for a while.

Turn the head of his penis like you’re trying to open a doorknob coated with grease. Now try turning the other way. Repeat. This stroke is sometimes improved by using the other hand to stretch the skin of the penis toward the base.

Bring both well-lubricated hands down on his shaft. Some cocks are so big they require both hands; if your partner’s doesn’t, then use the other hand to caress and lightly flutter his balls, or tighten around the base of his shaft. If both hands fit along the length of the shaft then move them together, up and down, in the typical pumping motion. Pretend you’re holding a baseball bat and are about to score a grand slam. You can also vary the directions of your hands: one up, one down at the same time.

Opposite of the Anvil: hands alternate “milking” up the penis, starting at the base and working all the way up past the tip.

Like the Anvil, but instead of just grabbing the penis at the top let his penis “penetrate” into your fist on each stroke. Before the head of his penis pops out of your hand, bring the other hand up for the next penetration. This way it seems to him like he is penetrating deeper and deeper into an infinite vagina. Make sure you keep the penetration continuous for best results. Try faster or slower to taste.

Make a ring with your thumb and forefinger and pump up and down with it. When you get to the top close the ring. Then make him squeeze his way in as you slide back down to the bottom.

Stroke only his shaft, ignoring his head. You will notice his head swelling and turning red. When it’s bright red, use Doorknob, Hairy Palm Sunday, or Perpetual Penetration.

Take the penis in both hands, fingers lightly touching the sides of the shaft. In order to visualize the position, imagine yourself holding a clarinet. Now flick the penis back and forth between your two hands by holding onto the loose skin of the shaft. Do this stroke for a while to allow tension to build.

Lightly and slowly run a finger up the underside of his cock. Ask him to tell you where the most sensitive spot is. Pinch it, squeeze it, nibble it, tease it. This is a good spot to pinch (a la Cockupressure) to turn a soft cock rock solid.


Appendix B: Additional Female Genital Massage

“Place a well-oiled (or lubed) hand over her labia, fingers pointing towards her anus. Pull up toward the navel and alternate hands. Explore the inner and outer lips with your fingers. Pull gently on one and then the other. Rub the outer lips gently between your forefinger and thumb, then the inner lips.”

“Try inserting your first two fingers into her, then arch your thumb back ‘hitch-hiker’ style and thrust in until your thumb rests against her clitoris. You can use a variety of thrusting and twisting motions in this position. You can also vibrate your entire hand.”

“If your partner has a particular spot that they like to have licked or caressed, try doing so very close to but not quite on that spot – except perhaps occasionally. This trick will make them take longer to reach their orgasm, but they will likely have a much stronger, more powerful orgasm when it finally does happen. As a variant, you can do the ‘not quite on target’ until they get close to coming, then switch to the target itself, thus earning their gratitude.”

“Gently insert one finger deeply into her vagina and, when she’s ready, insert a second. Then take your thumb and place it against her anus. Don’t insert it. Instead, press there while you move your fingers.”

“Place the palm of your hand on her mons (the mound where her pubic hair is), and rest your fingers lightly on her vaginal lips. Rest your thumb on her opposite thigh. Lightly but firmly press your palm onto her mons and begin to move your hand in a tiny circular motion. You palm should not slide too much over her skin during this process. Instead, her skin should move underneath it. Repeat this process until you have done ten circles. You then raise your fingers and lightly tap her vaginal lips about once a second until you have given her ten taps. Please note that these are light taps, not spanks. They shouldn’t hurt. After giving the taps, rest your hand for five to ten seconds. Then repeat the circles, then repeat the taps, then rest again, then repeat the circles…”

“A woman’s cervix can usually be found in the upper rear part of her vagina. The cervix feels like a little dome of tissue, and may also have a small cleft in the middle, like your chin. Carefully stimulate the area surrounding the cervix. Some women may enjoy this and want you to do it more often; others won’t.”

“Given how the clitoral area is often more sensitive than any single part of the penis, you don’t want the rough skin of your fingers rubbing across it. Gently push and pull on the clitoral hood and labia when first touching a woman’s genitals. Using the lips as leverage can provide pleasing stimulation without painful friction.”

“Lay your free hand over the lower part of your partner’s abdomen. Experiment by applying different kinds of pressure with the top hand while fingers from your other hand are inside her vagina.”

“An excellent way to learn more about pleasing your partner is to rest your fingers over hers while she is masturbating herself. Then do the reverse, with her fingers acting as guides for your own.”

“Another form of genital massage can be done by holding a lubricated lip between your thumb and forefinger. While squeezing just a little, pull your fingers straight away from the woman’s body. Your fingers will end up in the air an inch or two above her body, as though you had pulled them off the edge of a tabletop or sheet of paper. If she likes this, repeat it many times.”

“Ask your partner to help you locate her ovaries. They can usually be felt in the deepest part of the vagina and to the far left or right. Some women will like you to massage this area, others will find it painful. Sensitivity will also vary with her menstrual status.”

“Begin with a light, gentle caress that barely touches the inner thighs and pubic hair. Don’t go much further until your partner’s pelvis begins to arch upwards. Tease and caress until the lips of her vulva invite your fingers inside.”

“After applying lubrication, it might be nice to begin with one of the large outer lips. Place the lucky lip between your thumb and forefinger, clasping it at the base where it attaches to the main part of your partner’s body. Then run your fingers (or fingertip) from the lower to upper part of the lip, as though you were tracing one side of a parenthesis. Repeat this as long as your partner’s feedback is positive. You can also make an upside down horseshoe pattern with a fingertip by starting at the lower inside part of one lip and finishing at the lower inside part of the other. It could be fun to do this with both inner and outer lips.” Selected from Annie Sprinkle and Joseph Kramer’s Women’s Massage Ritual

“Hold completely still while your fingers or your hand are still inside her vagina. Don’t move – just be there and meditate.”

“Insert your thumb in her vagina, curl your palm around onto her clitoris, and rest your fingertips on top of her pubic bone. Alternate stimulation between the internal G-Spot, the clitoris, and the external G-Spot/bladder.”

“Press very firmly on her G-Spot, like ringing a doorbell. Press, release, press….”

“With two fingers press firmly up/side/down/side in her vagina, eight times each side.”

“Tickle the clitoris extremely lightly.”

“Some women might need and want good, hard, deep, vigorous thrusting penetration. Be sure to keep her relaxed – don’t let her get into a tensed body mode.”

“Gently pinch and pull on the clitoris.”

“With your forefinger make tiny circles, stopping at every one of twelve ‘hours’.”

“With one finger tickle her vaginal opening as lightly as possible. Make her hungry.”

“Orbit your forefinger around between her inner and outer labia from perineum to above her clitoris.”

“Use your three longest fingers, with your middle finger gliding along the outside of her vaginal opening and your other two fingers running along the place where her thigh meets her labia.”

“Using one or more fingers, massage in and out while twisting at the wrist.”