Smitten Kitten Online – Your Dating & Relationship Headquarters

You are finally there. Feeling nervous and excited. It doesn’t matter who picked who, or whether you have decided to meet each other in a neutral place, the question is what to do on the first date? The main concept of a perfect first date is to get to know each other, therefore, the perfect first date will usually involve a nice conversation and not some adventurous extreme activities. If the weather is pleasant you can get some ice cream and have a walk in a park or on the beach or even sit on a bench in the moonlight and let the conversation flow in view of this romantic setting. If the weather isn’t warm enough, you’ll probably have to stay indoors. Having a first date in one of your apartments can be intimidating for both sides since the guest doesn’t know yet the person he \ she are visiting, and can’t completely trust them. The host may also feel intimidated by the exposure and the invasion to his \ her privacy. Therefore, the most common places to have a first date are bars, cafés or restaurants. Here are some basic first date ideas and guidelines to help you choose the most perfect place for your first date: First – Noise. In a first date you want to get to know the person you are going out with and the best way to achieve that is by talking. Places with loud music, or even loud crowds, can cause you both to shout and not hear each other and spoil the date. Second – lighting. Going on a first date you want to have some lighting so you can see your date and notice his \ her expressions and gestures. In addition, a dark place might create an impression of sleaziness that might ruin the atmosphere you are trying to create. Third – Price. Even if you can afford an expensive place, and you’re planning to pay for the date, your date may feel uncomfortable in a too fancy place. First dates are stressful enough, don’t give your date another reason to be nervous about. Finally, don’t go to a too trendy place. These places tend to be too crowded and, will expel the intimacy off your date. In my opinion cafés are the perfect location for a first date – they are quiet, cozy, and allow you to stay for as long as you like without feeling obliged to spend an outrageous amount of money. There is nothing more intimidating than the idea of a first date, unless of course it is getting up the courage to ask for that first date. In fact, most of us will not even get to the point of asking four out of five times. So what if you finally get up the courage and, to your delight, the person says yes? Well, your adventures through the land of intimidation are just about to begin. The agony of the first date begins when you try to decide what to do. The conversation often becomes bogged down right here- you do not want to choose a date that the other person will hate, nor do you want to choose a generic date that anyone could have dreamed up. Some safe ideas are the old standbys- a night at the movies, dinner in a restaurant with a few options (nothing too specific or risqué like sushi or Indian yet), a day in the park. If you play your cards right, the conversation should lead you to a point where you both find out interesting facts about each other that will serve two advantages- the first is that you have a curiosity about each other, the second is that it gives an opportunity to plan and get a set time for the second date. This date is great as it allows for a demonstration of your listening abilities and the opportunity to expand your dating options into other safe areas. Choose a date that will allow you alone time without adding the burden of too much privacy. This will allow you both to feel comfortable and keep the conversation flowing. Your first date should also include some good conversation starters as well. This is why the movies and perhaps a desert or coffee afterwards are a good idea. You can go to the theater and both of you can decide on the movie, and afterwards the movie itself should provide ample fodder for conversation. There are several signs that the date is going well. One of these is laughter- if you are both laughing, the odds are very high that you are having a good time. There is nothing more rewarding than female laughter on a date; it means that you are in the door of approval. Don’t overdo it though, and don’t try to play for laughs. Understated humor is the best way to go. Time seeming to fly by is another good indicator of a successful date, as we never have enough time when we are enjoying ourselves. There are some suicidal moves and places when it comes to first dates. Bars immediately spring to mind. Many bars are filled with juvenile minded people (mostly young men) who are seeking to prove their manliness to a public that is in no need of convincing by looking for fights. If you happen to be a big guy, you will present an immediate target. This will inevitably result in a no win situation. Fights are a ridiculous behavior for an adult to engage in, nevertheless you may be forced into a situation where one cannot be avoided. There are lots of contingent consequences, including a possible loss of respect from your date and even charges. Bars also have the implication of heavy drinking, and your date may think you are trying to get her drunk to take advantage. If you both find out that you enjoy dancing, try to go to one of the higher class watering holes in your area. Otherwise, avoid bars altogether on the first date. First Date Tips – Getting Ready Congratulations, you met someone you like (through friends, online dating services, on your own, or any other way…) and you are going on a date! Here are some basic first date tips to help you to get ready to your date. Apparel is of course the trickiest of them all, you need to look gorgeous, but as if it took no effort to achieve this look. Well, I have to break the bad news to you – no one can look terrific with no effort. Even those seemingly slobby rock starts invest hundreds of dollars in their designer’s shabby jeans, and in their well-trimmed bristles. On the other hand, you shouldn’t go over the edge on your first date, or you’ll send the message of over enthusiasm, which may scare your date away. So what to do? First of all make sure you are clean and that you smell good. Don’t surround yourself with a scented cloud, but it’s definitely a worthy cause to use that expensive perfume that collects dust in your closet. When it comes to choosing an outfit, you have to follow one basic – feel comfortable. You don’t have to wear the most brilliant and expensive item in your wardrobe. The main idea is comfort, and when you feel comfortable you are relaxed and at your best. Here’s a tip to women: surprisingly, men usually don’t care what we’re wearing: you are most attractive when you feel attractive, therefore you should wear only the things that make you feel this way, and not tiny dresses (or any thing else for that matter) that might make you feel too self aware and uncomfortable. Finally – do not change anything too drastic in your appearance before the date. Clearly when you got yourself a date, your partner already liked the way you look, so don’t try to change your appearance in order to impress your date. Be natural and relaxed and you’ll be at your best. First Date Success - It’s All In The Preparation Dating can be stressful but first dates can be particularly painful and nerve wrecking. Follow my simple tips to getting ready for a date and before you know it you’ll be breezing through first dates with you’re only concern being what to wear on your second date. 1. Don’t stress! First of all, try not to stress yourself out. Tell yourself, it’s only a date and if it doesn’t work out, so what? 2. Easy on the wedding plans You may laugh but don’t start planning your wedding! We’ve all been there; dreaming that this could be the one, that you’ll fall in love after a whirlwind romance and get married… and all before you’ve ordered your starter! Obviously, it’s good to be positive but just take each day as it comes in the early stages otherwise you could be heading for disappointment. 3. Listen to music Listen to some music whilst you’re getting ready; whatever gets you in the mood for a night out and relaxes you. 4. Soak in a bath If you have time, take a long soak in the bath with a small glass of wine to relax you. I emphasise the word “small”; you don’t want to turn up drunk or smelling of alcohol. 5. Subtle make-up Girls, try to keep your make-up subtle. The majority of men don’t like to see make-up caked on and if you do happen to snuggle up to your date, he won’t be too impressed if you leave make-up on his collar. As a basic rule, if you’re going for smoky eyes, keep your lips natural with a lick of gloss and if you’re opting for the red Monroe pout then keep your eyes natural. 6. Hair to go You don’t want a high maintenance hair style that has you running to the toilet every two minutes to check it’s in place so stick to what you know suits you and what you feel comfortable with. Also, easy on the hair products in case your date decides to run his fingers through your hair and gets them stuck! 7. What to wear? Don’t wear anything too revealing on a first date as it could give out the wrong impression. Remember you can still look sexy without revealing all your goods; less is more! Decide what you’re going to wear in advance so you’re not in a last minute panic with a bedroom floor covered in reject outfits. The main thing is to feel comfortable in what you’re wearing so you look relaxed; fidgeting with straps and pulling down your hemline every few minutes doesn’t look good. Your choice of outfit will obviously depend on where you are going; if it’s fancy restaurant then you can glam it up but if it’s a lunchtime date or the cinema then dress it down accordingly. 8. Killer heels or comfy flats? As for shoes, heels look great but only if you can walk in them so only wear shoes that you are comfortable in. Also, don’t wear new shoes in case you get blisters on the night. Again, your choice of shoes will depend on where you are going so dress for the venue. 9. Fresh breath Don’t forget to clean your teeth and rinse with a mouthwash. It may sound obvious but so many people forget. Also, keep a packet of mints or chewing gum in your bag in case you need to freshen up later. 10. Aroma, aroma! Once you’re ready, don’t forget to squirt a bit of your favourite perfume behind the ears and on your wrist (these are the strongest pulse points). Don’t go overboard, the key is to have an aroma about you, not to overpower him with your scent. 11. Arrange transport Book a taxi or arrange for someone to give you a lift so you get to your meeting place in plenty of time. I wouldn’t advise accepting any offer to pick you up or take you home until you’ve got to know him. 12. Keep the conversation flowing Give some thought to what you’re going to talk about. Obviously, you can’t plan it word for word but think about things you want to find out about him and questions you could ask to keep the conversation flowing. If you know a good joke, it’s always good to throw that in at some point in the evening to lighten the mood. 13. A kiss goodnight – no more! Don’t feel pressured into going back to his place or inviting him into yours and certainly don’t feel pressured into having sex! I think it’s best to end the evening with a goodnight kiss so you both leave each other wanting more and more importantly eager to arrange that second date. If you can’t trust yourself to resist his charm go unshaven in the nether regions so that way you won’t be tempted to go any further than a kiss! 14. Watch your drink Don’t drink excessively! It’s easy to drink faster and more than you would normally because of your nerves but try and pace yourself and if you do feel yourself getting more than tipsy, drink some water. Also, if you don’t know your date well take your drink with you when you go to the toilets; with so many drinks being spiked in bars these days it’s better to be safe than sorry. 15. Tell a friend Tell a friend or family member where you’re going and who with and let them know when you’ve arrived home safe. 16. Have fun Finally, don’t forget to enjoy yourself and have fun! First Date Ideas When thinking of ideas for a a first date I like to try new things. Rather than cater to what either one of us enjoys I try to find something completely new. This is my way of starting off the relationship with a bang and some excitement. Dinner and a movie has been done to death and so have trips to bars and clubs. Give a few of these ideas a shot and you will be pleasantly surprised. Skydiving I haven’t tried this out for a first date idea yet but it seems like it would really be great (provided neither of you are afraid of heights). It’s exhilarating and standing together at the door of a plane about to jump out at several thousand feet has a romantic appeal that not many other things can match. Call your local municipal airport to see if they have any skydiving instructors. Hookah Cafes If you’re not one of the enlightened who enjoys middle eastern food and hookah then you should definitely give it a try. It might not be a good option for the health conscious but for the rest of us it makes an excellent first date. Hookah cafes are usually bustling places with a laid back and cozy atmosphere and is a great place to smoke a hookah, enjoy some coffee and have a nice conversation. This works especially well for college students as there are usually many cafes nearby. Art Conventions/Galleries One of my favorite places to have a first date is at the monthly art walk they have here through the downtown area. Artists and vendors get together and line the streets. Musicians play their music for you as you walk around and take in the artwork. It works wonders for anyone who can appreciate art. Live Comedy Another astounding option for first dates are local comedy clubs. There are a handful of really excellent ones in my area featuring both professional and amateur local comedy acts. This is a great way to break the ice; with some laughs. Wine Tasting/Tours If you live somewhere close to vineyards taking a tour or going to a wine tasting make excellent first dates (as long as you’re 21+). A few good wines and good conversation tucked away on a vineyard seems peaceful to me and has worked wonders for me in the past. Scuba Diving If you are fortunate enough to live near the beach snorkeling or scuba diving make great date activities. Follow a romp in the ocean with a nice seaside dinner and you have the makings of romance. Poetry Readings/Book Signings Poetry readings make great first dates and if you’re the adventurous type you can even whip up a peace to read your date at the reading. Talk about a way to score some points! Book signings are also great even if you’re not really into books. You can enjoy coffee and conversation with your date and often enjoy a dramatic reading from the author. First Date Weirdness: That Awkward Silence First dates for some can be intimidating and stressful. Often, one’s mind and emotions are overcome with insecurities and fears. Conversation normally is a big factor for a positive date outcome as well as a great influence on the failure of your date. Carrying a conversation during a first date can become difficult and uneasy at times, since you hardly know the individual you are dating (specially on a blind date), making it hard to open up and think of a certain topic to talk about and with slight tension and nervousness, things can be really awkward. On dates, usually a person is scared of rejection and failure; thus is nervous and conscious on what to say. It has to be the right things; sparking his/her interests as the wrong words may either injure your date’s feelings or make the conversation boring. This is because usually one is very concerned about one’s impression that he/she is able to convey to his/her date. One’s apprehensions can lead to damaging results, usually paralyzing one’s thoughts and emotions, thus inhibiting one’s capability to behave confidently and normally like one would do when he is in the company of family and friends. As a result, one ends up in a very humiliating and embarrassing situation, which one describes in dating as "awkward silence". Almost everyone is capable of carrying on an effortless, enjoyable and easy going conversation with individuals they are familiar with and therefore having the proper approach, so one can do it with the girl/guy on one’s first date. One solution here is to think ahead of time the things that you can open up or topics that can start a good conversation; ask a common friend of his/her interest, hobbies, sports, career, etc. Another solution is to relax and be yourself; never pretend to be somebody that you are not. Keep in mind that it’s no use when your date will like for putting up a front; it will be a great feeling to know that your date liked you for what you are. Never brag, talking constantly of your awards and accomplishments as this would only set arrogant impression on you. Keep your conversation as simple as possible keeping away discussions about politics or religion. Also, do not intrude or ask personal questions; whatever your date wants to relate to you, he/she will tell you on his/her own. Never too, talk about your experience about past relationships, as this will make your date feel uneasy. Making your date feel at ease with your conversations, for sure there will be a second time around for both of you. Let your date talk and you have to listen well, as this will allow you to collect ideas of the things that interest your date and make these as topics for your conversation as well as be acquainted with your date much better. Furthermore, being a great listener is one positive feature that any ideal date can possess. Take note that most often than not, people are tempted or even talk about their life story. Be careful, as this might only bore your date. Instead, loosen up and select an easy topic or general things such as movies, food, or anything that is of interest to your date. Or be funny and joke a little, you do not need to be all that formal. Basically, when you are listening well to your date, you’ll know what you both have in common, so talk about that, so you can develop a good bond. Do not let the “awkward silences” worry you, at some point those silences will come, but know that as they embarrass you, they also embarrass your date. Awkward silences are never a basis for you to conclude that your date is not interested in you; he/she just might be in a similar situation as you. Relax and be yourself. When “silence” do come, break it with a joke, a compliment or a question and remember to be honest; let your date know how nervous you are (when you are). Letting your date know how to feel on this first date will take away the tension on he/she is feeling and will make him/her comfortable and can handle the situation better. First Date Conversation Tips You are on your date, sitting in front of your date, you ordered something to drink, and now what? Before you start to talk about the weather, here are a few tips that will help you pass the evening successfully: Preparation Before going out on your first date you should write down a few questions you could ask your date in case the conversation will get stuck. People who go often on dates usually know by heart their list of questions and they draw them out at the correct moment in great skill. You might need to get some practice, but there’s no better time to start practicing than today! Here are some first date questions: 1. What do you do for a living? 2. Do you have any brothers or sisters? Are you close to each other? 3. Did you travel? Where and when? 4. What are your aspirations \ dreams? 5. Do you like \ practice any kind of art? The most important thing about asking these first date questions is that they allow your date to talk about him \ her self and teach you more about the person sitting in front of you. I suggest that in first dates you should avoid asking your date about his \ her previous relationships. If you must ask something in the subject I suggest asking your date what does he \ she look for in a relationship or what kind of relationship they are looking for right now. Compliments Every person likes to be flattered, especially on first dates when the self-confidence is very low and you are both feeling very nervous. Complimenting your date may break the ice, make the other person feel more confident and comfortable and also add some bonus points to your date’s opinion about you. Make sure that your compliments are personal, honest and convincing, and not a cheesy sentence you cite from an Italian movie, which will only make you loose your credibility and your charm. First Date Etiquette: Do’s And Don’ts Whether you admit it or not, any single men and women tend to find a partner, and mostly they find it on a date. But dating can be tough and first date is tougher. So what should you do? Simple, just arm yourself with good first date etiquette. Here are the dos and don’ts and proper first date etiquette: When you go out on a date especially if it is first date, groom yourself properly before you go out. Wear comfortable, clean, and good clothes. Clean your toenails and fingernails, iron your clothes, wear nice watch, and clean everything that your first date can notice. Remember, you are building the foundation of the outcome of you date. The impression starts here. This basic first date etiquette on cleanliness is a must. Flirt with your date. Teasing her and making her laugh is also a parts of first date etiquette. Also, laugh at your date’s jokes. Humor can make your date feel comfortable with you. It is also nice to give her a hug as soon as you met her. A little physical touch can be a good etiquette on your first date. First date etiquette also suggest that you should have a stimulating conversation with your date. There is no better first date than learning how to talk. Do act like a gentleman to your date, open doors for her. And if you are the lady, act as one. Complement your date once in a while is a flattering first date etiquette. Tell where you will go and finally relax and have fun. Keeping these proper first date etiquettes in mind assure you of a higher chance of getting a second date but that’s not all. You should know what you should not do on a date. Here are some: Avoid talking about religion and politics. Your date might have other views on these matters. It is not a good first date etiquette to look around while your date is talking. It might appear that you are not interested. Focus your attention to your date. Never ever talk about yourself too much. Never talk about your past relationships to your date. It is not a proper first date etiquette. Another secret is sharing stories and listening intently. Don’t make any offensive jokes. Don’t be rude. Also, it is not good first date etiquette to pretend to be someone. Be punctual on your first date. Don’t argue with her. Keep it easy. Staying cool and calm is really a good first date etiquette. With this first date etiquette on your mind, you should be ready to take your date out for the first time. But there are other things you can consider to keep your date yours. One secret is to keep her wanting for more. Date should be short and meaningful. A romantic dinner should do because in that setting, you can truly impress your date with your proper first date etiquettes. Keep her hanging. Make her clueless of your next step. Give snap judgment that you have feelings toward your date. But keep your first date etiquette. Bring your date to her house. But don’t tell that you like her or you love her. A simple phrase like “I had a great time” will do or “I was a pleasure to meet you” can be an alternative. Remember, don’t mention directly to your date’s face the phrase “So, when can we go out again. Instead, “can I call you again?” is more appropriate first date etiquette. First dates should not always lead to bed. One thing more: “BE SAFE.” First Date Kiss Without a doubt, a first date kiss is an important time for a woman. Most women love kissing and if they can find the perfect kiss, that is even better. Some women do not kiss on the first date, which is perfectly fine. However, if you do not mind kissing on the first date, you dream of something great and memorable! French Kiss The French kiss is sensual and exciting. Such a kiss can make your love and desire catch fire. French kissing has as much powerful effect as striking a match on the prairie covered with straw, in the summer heat, when the sunset sets the sky ablaze. French kiss definition: an explosive surge in a fire occurring when 2 pairs of lips are suddenly mixed with a combustible desire. How to be sensual and the best in the most intimate kiss... · Get a sensual mouth. Brush and floss your teeth. Drink water. A fresh and healthy kiss is the most erotic French kiss. · Clean hair and body. Shave, after-shave. Shower and shampoo. · Look at your partner innocently or dominantly · Get closer and kiss softly · Begin gently licking your lover on the lips · Feel the responding satin tongue roaming your mouth · Visit your partner's mouth, slowly. · Time after time, get deeper and more intimate. · The best French kiss takes time. · Push your tongue into your partner's mouth, or let you lead · Don't give your mouth all of a sudden. · Don't take over your partner's mouth immediately. Let the fire spread slowly. · Show resistance, to get more desire. · Close your eyes and let you blown away in the wind of passion · Bite your partner's lip with your teeth. Gently. · Look at your partner lovingly. How to fan the flames... · When you stop to breathe in, let your breath caresses your partner's face in a murmur like the embers caressed by the wind · Close down the kiss shortly to provoke frustration and get an immediate back-draft · Play with your hands. Press your bust, your body against your lover's · Sensual sounds. Intimate moans. Press your body closer. · Arouse desire. Increase your breathe, and share your excitement. · Passionate French kiss. Take and give everything immediately, and spread like a sensual explosion. · Let your hands wander away, run your fingers through your lover's hair, caress shoulder, back, breast.. · Feel the skin on the forearm, the inside is more sensitive · Go under the shirt without being invited, travel on the back and front, and get as intimate as you can. · Press your body against your lover's and let the fire break out inside... A first date kiss should be something simple yet special. When a woman steps out on that first date, typically in the back of her mind, she is wondering if a kiss will end the date. There is nothing wrong with a first date kiss although it should not be something over the top. Generally, a woman does not mind a soft, gentle kiss to end the night. Even for the woman who does not generally kiss on the first date, if the kiss is something soft, gentle, and simple, she does not mind. First Kiss - Dealing With The Anxiety Getting close to landing your first kiss? Are you overwhelmed with stress? If the answer is yes, then you must read this article. It will slash your anxiety in half. 1) Eliminate Expectations Don't expect to set the world on fire with your first kiss. Instead, decide that you just want to give a normal 10 second kiss. Shooting for a realistic goal will lower your stress considerably. 2) Remember that you'll get a 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th + chance. Once that initial kiss is made, you guys will do it a hundred more times. You'll be so relieved and thrilled to be kissing, that you'll want to do it all the time. So, if you screw up a little on your first kiss, don't sweat it. You'll get another chance to do it better...probably within the hour. 3) It's probably their first kiss, too Don't expect to be judged on your performance. If they haven't kissed anyone before, either, you can be damn sure that they're also stressing about it. In fact, after you guys pull apart from your first kiss, it's likely they'll be so busy wondering "Am I doing this right", that they won't stop to consider whether you did it right. 4) They want you to kiss them Go ahead and assume that the person you're dating wants to kiss you. Obviously, they're physically attracted to you. Otherwise, they wouldn't be dating you. It's only natural for them to want you in a more physical way. Of course, they want to kiss you. 5) Think positive thoughts Psyche yourself up. Think how happy you'll be once you land that first kiss. Think of all the hours of making out that will be going on after you get the first kiss over with. Think how great it's going to feel. Don't delay this ecstasy any longer. 6) Billions of people kiss every day A kiss is a normal everyday thing for several billion people. Your mom and dad, neighbors, and other people all over the world kiss all the time, so what's the big deal? If they can do it, why can't you? If it's no big deal to dinosaurs like your parents and grandparents, why should you have a problem with it? 7) Visualize it Try to picture how it's going to go down. When you go to bed at night, close your eyes and try to imagine how you're going to make your approach, how you're going to hold them, etc. The more you visualize this moment, the more comfortable and stress free you'll be when the time comes to do it for real. 8) Practice it in your room...seriously Physically go through the motions that you visualized in the previous step. Practice walking up to your sweetie, practice what you're going to say (and in what tone of voice), and practice leaning in. You can even practice kissing your hand. Believe it or not, but these techniques actually work. Going through the motions will prepare you for the real thing.

Recent Posts